Need Help!

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Need Help!
10
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 11:05pm
So I need some advice! Last sun nite I get a text from a guy friend of mine who is plastered. He is asking me 4 a ride home. It's 3am! But he's drunk so I would do it.i ask him in the text where his friend is ( who happens 2 b very worthy of my attractions) he ends up answering asking if I am coming and states that he would like it If come to help them out. By the time I get there they have already walked to Brady's (my guys) house. Which irritated me alittle, Craig (my friend) was passed out on the couch. So Brady & I talked abit & I was gonna sleep on the couch with Craig but he kicked me off so I crawled in bed with Brady. Obviously we ended up having sex & it was really good I thought. He held me & we fell asleep. Several hrs later we woke up & I left. I haven't heard from him & I'm kinda sad that I havent. I had hoped I would. Not sure if this was obviously just a 1 nighter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 3:01pm

Have you heard of the book Act like a lady, think like a man by Steve Harvey?  You should take a look.  In that book, he says that women should make men wait 90 days before having sex--and tell them that right up front that it's a probationary period.  You['ve just heard from 2 men here and there's another one (Steve H.) in a book--all these men are saying that they will wait to have sex if they think the woman is worth it.  Sure men can get sex anywhere--if you're looking for a relationship it surely doesn't guarantee that by having sex right away you're going to end up with the guy.  (And it doesn't mean you won't either) but just don't start confusing sex & love.  Yes I know it's hard to meet men--I'm in my 50's and I have a DD 23 and it's a lot harder when you get older.  I don't say that you even have to wait 90 days but at least you should get the idea that the man is actually interested in you as a person before you have sex with him (unless just having sex is what you want).  And the way you gauge the guy's interest is whether he's willing to see you & be with you even if you don't have sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
In reply to: xVladx
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:30pm

Unless you had some kind of previous chemistry with your drunken friend, all that happened was a 1 nighter, especially since he made no effort in contacting you the day after. As for the other friend which you are more into, sleeping together on the couch is as green light as it could get in terms of signals, if he had any affection for you, he would take the opportunity to show it (ex: putting his arm around you) rude that he kicked you off, but I would give him a small benefit of the doubt because he may have been far too drunk.

You are way too quick to lower your standards. For every woman that says that it is too hard to meet a man these days, there is a man somewhere saying the reverse. Bar scenes are sometimes not the best venues to meet people since they attract the drinking types. There are many other social activities that you can partake with friends to meet other people. Sign up to the local gym. Usually the male to female ratio there is around 70/30%. It can be a little difficult to approach men there, as most are focusing on their workouts and don't expect to be approached, but once you break the ice, it is no different than talking with someone at a bar, only the gym tends to attract nicer guys who tend to look after themselves, which is a positive attribute (excluding the few narcissists). Also, we are way too hyperconnected in today's world, so nothing wrong with seeking out a match via online dating sites.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to:
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 8:43pm

My friend, who is a mother of 21 yr old twin guys, who are very very attractive & so obviously can get many girls to come home with them, said she would like to tell those girls "if you don't respect yourself, why would a man respect you?"  It used to be that you talk about how many dates you'd have to go on before having sex--now you don't even go on a date, you just sleep with a drunk guy and then wonder why he doesn't call you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to:
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 7:00pm

He was drunk and wearing his 'beer goggles'.  You were willing and in his bed.    Of course he slept with you.     

Unless he's indicated an interest in you when sober, this was just a drunken shag.