Hey ladies.. maybe a little hope?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Hey ladies.. maybe a little hope?
4
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 12:08am

Hey all!  I used to be the CL here when I got pregnant with my son, Zaydren, who is now almost 15 months old!  I can't believe how fast its went.

My story: I was widowed in 2009, in Sept 2010 met my son's dad and shortly thereafter I found out I was pregnant.  He was ticked to put it mildly, saying I was ruining his life, had to have an abortion, etc.  When I was 6 weeks pregnant he walked away from us.  He wouldn't talk to me for a couple months, could care less about the baby.  The only time he has ever saw him was when he was 2 weeks old and wouldn't hold him because he said he didn't know how to hold a boy (he has 3 daughters he says is his life).

I went through the whole pregnancy alone.  Having to almost beg my dad or twin sister to come to the u/s appts and even went to one alone, one with just my doula, and had to go to triage to be monitored alone.  When I had my son I checked into the hospital alone, and the first night he was born we stayed in the hospital alone!  I was even planning to drive us home because had no other option.  But  I was the one to get all the cuddles and cut his umbilical cord too!

Coming home it was just us!  No one was there to help at all from the time we got home on.  But you know what?  We survived!  He is such a mommy's boy.  He gives cuddles, kisses, calls out to me, runs up to me and gives big hugs.  He is even trying to potty train which is fun let me tell ya!  LOL But I wouldn't change it.  His dad is missing out and hasn't been a part at all, no presents, no calls, nothing.  He does have a thing where he is enchanted by males he meets but I think its because they have more energy than mom and toss him around and rough house more lol!  We've survived all this time just us two.  Would I love him to have a dad? Yes, but I would rather someone that wants to than be forced to.  One day he may have a father figure, but in the meantime my guy friends, one of the people at my survivors services, and my older stepsons, he is ok.  He's happy, well adjusted, and too darn smart!  So keep your heads up ladies.  You can do it.  If you have any questions for me I'll be glad to answer!  Hugs to you all!


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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2005
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 4:33pm

Thanks for sharing your story.  There's a sort of stigma attached to being a single mom and the feeling that you're a "failure" if your "family" didn't stay together.  That's what I used to think.  I'm glad you're offering yourself as encouragement to those women who still feel that way.  You're absolutely right!  It's the men who choose to abandon their children that are the ones who are truly missing out.  When you have your baby your motherly instincts kick right in and you do all that you can to take care of and protect your child.  Being a single parent isn't the end of the world and it can be overcome. 

 

Good luck ladies :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Sat, 10-13-2012 - 11:05pm
Thank you and best wishes to you.. You can do this

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my