Boundaries

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2012
Boundaries
1
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 4:35pm
I have a question and it is as follows: How might you respond to your husband, who upon traveling out of state, meets a woman on the shuttle to pick up their car rentals, and she asks him for a ride to her city? Mind you, it turns out to be a 2+ hour ride to her destination, with another half hour to his. This is a total stranger, supposedly as he tells me, in her 60's (he is 68) and matronly. I guess this makes it okay, with the caveat that he has said this about another woman he had as a study partner, who he told me was overweight and probably lesbian. When I met her, she was trim, beautiful, and of course, not lesbian. I felt the picking up a strange woman and driving with her for two+ hours, extraordianrily inappropriate but as he has told me, it has nothing to do with me. Seriously? No understanding, no empathy, just disregard. It has pretty much been this way for the almost ten years of marriage we have shared. I am fairly certain that I am married to a narcissist. It takes a tremendous toll on a person to be in such a relationship. Thanks for your response and wisdom you might share. DS
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2012
Mon, 12-03-2012 - 7:41pm

It is completely inapproriate and NOT OK for your husband to be engaging in such behavior with strange women. It doesn't matter how old he is. He is obviously not being honest about what the women look like, so why should he be honest about anything else he is doing with them?