Accentuating the positives

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Accentuating the positives
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 8:10pm

Rather than focus on how our affair negatively impacted us, I think it would be nice to write out here how being out of the affair has had a positive impact on our selves...our lives.

So how about it...c'mon share your feelgoods as a result of being out of your affair.  Who'll go first?

group ((hug))


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 2:41pm

Wow. In response to every single post above.


I am peeling off layer after layer of denial about many things in my life. I am finally understanding and accepting my own life story so will be interesting to see how the story unfolds. (A free!)

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 10:16am
I figured.out a lot of stuff.from my childhood, which is a good thing. Plus it has made my boundaries and my ability to say no to people stronger in other aspects of my life too.

I love not having to hide my phone, delete text messages.

I respect myself more. I did not realize how strong I actually am.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:01am
" As I look back now..the A was only as real and as intense as I chose it to be. "

So true!! Well said!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 12:59am
It has taught me that I am strong. I have weathered though the darkest storm. Im still here. In many pieces but still here. I have learned to pay attention to my inner talk. I was not so in-tuned prior A. I am learning to accept my imperfect person I am. Most of all this A actually forced me to have a good look at why I have made some decisions I have made not just with the A but in whole. Its ME time! Never quite had that and I did what I knew I covered it with layers of other stuff! Time to get NAK-ED! haha! Bare it all down to the itty gritty truth! FREEDOM!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 9:38pm
This is an excellent topic and ironic as well. Today my H and I spent the day up north and as we were walking seeing the cute shops I thought to myself how incredibly happy I am to be fortunate enough to be in a REAL relationship with someone who loves ME! Someone who supports me and has my best interest at heart. And we share a beautiful child together. It just doesn't get any better than that

On the flip side was my relationship with Xap. Spun and fabricated within the confines of my mind. As I look back now..the A was only as real and as intense as I chose it to be.

My thoughts and skewed thinking was what propelled it. I am so very thankful to be cleared from the fog and equally as grateful that there were no innocent casualties from the choice and path I mistakenly forged upon.

Thank you Clarity for starting this thread.