Uh oh

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Uh oh
14
Sat, 09-29-2012 - 9:43pm
I made plans to go out a few hours ago. We're going to a place we don't go to too often, but have been several times. It hit me about an hour ago that my (former?) FWB hangs out there on Saturday nights. I completely forgot about that. The truth is, it's been about six weeks since I've seen him and the only time he texted me I was sleeping. I haven't even attempted to talk to him, tell him I'm over it and I don't want sex with him anymore... I don't really think that's necessary in this situation. I just really don't want to run into him tonight. First, because if I don't talk to him he'll text and ask me if I'm mad at him (Nevermind that he won't initiate conversation with me) and second because if I do talk to him I may just get all soft and give in. I'm really hoping one of his kids has something going on that will keep him home. But I doubt it!

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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:25am
So... No sign if him tonight, thankfully. There were many, many other guys there tonight though making eyes at me. Too bad my guy friend was there. Everyone always assumes we're together. His body language says we are. Mine says we are most definitely not. Still, no men ever approach when he's around. :-(
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:25am
So did you see him?
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Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:44am
Nope. I wonder since I haven't heard from him if he's seeing someone. If so, that's fine- I'm okay with it. I just wish my guy friend weren't so...blah. He hates all other men. If one gets close, he promptly labels him a d-bag and refuses to be friendly. That drives them all away. That's why he doesn't get invited anymore unless he specifically asks. He's just not fun.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 11:40am
Shy, could it be that your male friend has a secret thing for you?
Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 12:08pm

I've wondered about that for awhile now, but I've made it very clear that I'm not into him so any attempts he makes to show interest or run other guys off are purely selfish.  I talk about other guys in front of him, flirt with other guys in front of him, ask him about other women, move my chair farther away (and he moves his closer), and repeatedly call him a friend.  I used to text random stuff to him if I saw something or heard something that I thought he'd appreciate, like I might to a girlfriend.  Not anymore.  I ignore his random texts (he's pretty much stopped them these days).  One night, in the course of a really weird conversation among a few of us, I believe I even told him that in my mind, he does not have a penis.  I don't know how I could make it any clearer to the man that I'm not interested.  That's why he only gets invited when we go out if we're in a larger group (because usually that means I don't feel bad about not talking to him at all) or if he asks if I have plans. 

I do have the beginnings of what might be a tiny crush on someone I met a couple of weeks ago.  We've started playing trivia on Thursdays before karaoke (the perfect Thursday night, until the obnoxious college kids show up and start getting rowdy and ruin our karaoke fun).  The guy who does karaoke is a couple of years younger than me and seems rather intelligent.  I didn't really think he was attractive at first (he reminded me of a young Jay Leno), but this past week I maybe am changing my mind.  I don't even know if he's single.  I didn't see a wedding ring, but that doesn't mean anything these days.  He came over and talked to us, and he knew my name from the previous week even though I'd never told him (probably b/c he stuck around for karaoke for awhile).  My (married) girlfriend got his number last week.  She just came out and asked for it.  How she can do that, I have no idea.  She said she wanted it so that she could let him know if we were running late for trivia.  I think she got it because she likes to collect men's phone numbers.  She has another DJ's number as well (he's also married).  I have one of the DJ's numbers that she doesn't have and it kills her!!  Anyway...I went off on a tangent there! 

When we play trivia, I sit in the middle of the three of us b/c I do the writing.  I try my hardest to send Leno Jr. the signal that I am NOT with the guy I'm sitting next to, but he just keeps scooting closer!!  Sometimes I'll just stand up and put my chair in between us.  My girlfriend is aware that I do not like it when he gets too close, but I think she's too into herself to observe when he's moving in.  I'm thinking that given enough weeks, Leno Jr. will figure it out!

 

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:44pm
I think Leno is cute. I am kind of miffed at him for what he did to CoCo but I digress, ha-ha.

Jeez, this friend (guy) would drive me crazy. Poor thing . . . you should make it your job to find him a girl! Problem solved ;]

Your GF is a piece of work! I say that in a good way but I can also see how it could be irritating. Wonder what her hubby thinks of all the [male] numbers in her contacts? Maybe he doesn't look through it. Maybe she does it to keep him on his toes, ha-ha.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
In reply to: shywon
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:19pm
CoCo? Do you mean Conan? I can't stand that guy! I think it's the hair that bugs me. This guy kinda has newscaster hair. I think it was a little flatter this past week. Maybe that's why I thought he was more attractive.

I've tried to get my guy friend to talk to women, but he just sits there like a slug. He doesn't want a relationship (his words), he just wants someone to sleep with and have his babies. A real winner, huh? He was dating someone awhile back, I think. He never said a thing about her, and then one night she came out with us. From what he told me, she invited herself. He was trying to be secretive about what his plans were. It was very awkward, especially when our waitress asked if they were on the same tab. She was nice. I think I talked to her more than he did. He does talk about women and keeps quite the group of female friends. I think he's probably slept with half of them at some point. I don't get it!

As for my girlfriend and her phone numbers, I think it's an ego booster for her. She gets all upset if guys pay attention to me and not her. She wears her wedding ring most of the time. There was one night when she didn't and she said it was because her hand was swollen. Another night, there was a guy who was interested (the same night I got the last T's number) and I asked T if he just didn't see the ring. They both chimed in with "that's not a wedding ring- it's not a diamond". I do wonder if she's looking for something on the side sometimes. I also wonder if her husband already has someone else. He's a real jerk and treats her pretty crappy sometimes, so I really don't blame her for wanting some male attention. She just does it in all the wrong ways.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: cfk_3
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:24pm
I was envisioning a social pariah for some reason. He sounds fairly normal, LOL. Are guys like this for real or is it a disguise? Who admits they just want to have sex, even if it's the truth? It comes off as being so douchey. Gag.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: musiclover12
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:30pm

I think it's easy for your married GF to ask a guy for his number cause she really has nothing to lose--I hope she's not really trying to have an affair or anything, but I assume like most women do, she wears a wedding ring.  So if the guy says no or asks why, she has the perfect out--she can say of course, I'm married so it's not like I'm interested in you, I just wanted your number for whatever...A single person would have a lot more risk in asking a guy for his number.  If you feel that this guy friend of yours interferes with you meeting other men, why do you ask him to go out with you at all?  He seems to hinder you even if others are around so I would assume that even though you told him you're not interested, he likes you & feels that even if he doesn't have a chance he's going to make sure no other guys get to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2009
In reply to: ladybookworm
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:40pm
It sounds like you don't even like this guy friend enough to really consider him a friend. If he really does have a thing for you my guess is he figures if you still allow him to be around in some way (regardless of the fact that you've said you're not into him and you're being kinda rude to him) then he may have some glimmer of a shot. I think the only way guys like him really get it is if they aren't allowed to be around at all. There is no other way to interpret 100% distance and unavailability then to accept that she's just not interested.
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