Helped MIL today...

Avatar for suamomi
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
Helped MIL today...
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Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:23am
She's working on clearing out her house and getting things fixed up to rent it out.

It's really...ummmm...interesting to listen to her talk about her stuff. It's all very dated but in decent shape. In her bathroom, for instance, Joe's cousin just put beautiful stone tile floors in. she's getting a new toilet but wanted him to put the old vanity back in because "there's nothing wrong with it" lol.

The whole house needs a make-over if it's ever going to be sold for a decent price (whether by her or by us in the future). But, god bless her, she can't see anything wrong with the 1980's theme (we're talking mauve/pink carpet and baby blue cabinets).
She is being agreeable but mainly because Joe and his cousin are refusing to let her put the old stuff back and she can't physically do it herself.

I'm glad it's getting done. We moved a couple pieces of her furniture up to our place today too. The woman has got to have the heaviest damn furniture on the planet...lol. It's all good quality though. But again, quite dated. But it's going to move with her not stay in her house so that's fine.

I can tell it bugs her a little seeing the house she's lived in forever get more and more empty and change. But I think there's a bit of excitement too. She seems ready to let go of things and move on with her life so that's good.

I'm glad my parents are able to do things for themselves still. I'm not sure I could handle both sides needing so much help!

Sarah


 


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Avatar for georapper
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 7:26am
It has to be hard to let go of something you've loved for a long time. There are memories there. She put herself into decorating it, etc. Transitions like these are bittersweet. She's blessed to have you and to have your help! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

&nb
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 8:20am
It's so good you guys have the relationship you do. Making your house over for someone else to move into has to be a bit hard though.
Avatar for suamomi
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 11:55am
I know...I guess maybe I'll understand if ever I'm in her shoes.

I think Joe put it well...she has a pack rat/hoarder mentality but only with her old stuff.

I've been impressed with how willing she is to let go of a lot of things. When Joe and I moved our things out of storage I went through a similar thing...but it became very liberating to let go of things I never thought I could. I think she's feeling that a little bit too. :smileyhappy:

I'm glad we have the relationship we do too. :smileyhappy:

Sarah


 


Avatar for layneo
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-1998
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 8:30pm

It wouild be very difficult to move so many years worth of memories Sarah, but it does sound like you and Joe have been very understanding.  You all seem to have a very close relationship, so I am sure that makes the process easier all round.

 

Elaine

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2005
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 7:02pm
I envy your relationship, all three of you. DH's mom isn't doing well, but won't consider moving back up here with us, even though her health is quite compromised and nobody down there seems to give a damn about the level of care and attention she needs. Ugh.

My parents just put their house on the market last week--after 45 years! It's been a very bittersweet process. They've had to get rid of a lot of stuff, but that's been OK. The part that is hard seems to be just getting a sign in the yard and making the emotional step that someone is going to buy it, and when that does happen, they'll have to move out!

Keep stroking that relationship, Sarah. You'll be better able to be on the receiving end when your time comes. (In a looooong time, lol!)

~Curly
Avatar for suamomi
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2001
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 12:37am
Curly, it's frustrating but I get it. When my grandpa was physically unable to take care of Grandma (she had parkinsons) he was so angry that my parents made the decision to move her in to our house for awhile. He passed before she did but I really remember thinking how tough it would be to change something that had been a certain way for over half a century.

It's a lot to take in...i wish we could get her to the dr too but we can't afford it and she doesn't have medical insurance and so she can't afford it either. I think she has a hernia and i'm pretty sure there are some other things going on too...high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol...i suspect they might all be present. Maybe even an ulcer. It just kills me that we can't help her in that way. :smileysad:

She's actually handling things way better than I expected. Ever since she quit smoking it seems like she's taken more of a no bs outlook on life...she's realizing that she doesn't need a lot of things.

I wish you luck Curly...

Sarah


 


Avatar for carolejd
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-1999
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 8:06am
OK, I do not want to turn this into a huge medicare debate, but it always makes me so angry to hear my friends in the US, on this and other boards, talk about how they simply cannot afford to see a Dr. for very basic medical care. We have our issues here in Ontario with long waits for some surgeries, not enough family doctors etc - but there is NO ONE who cannot get treated for high blood pressure, diabetes, ulcers, cancer - anything at all - because they don't have medical insurance., or money to pay for private treatment. I am so sorry to go off on a rant, but it totally burns me up to see people in a wealthy country like the US suffering that way.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 8:40am
If your husband has insurance can she be put on his policy? If she is living with you, and he provides more than 1/2 of her support (housing, food, utilities ...) she may be able to be considered a dependent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 8:44am
Feel free to rant. I totally agree with you - I have thought that medicine should be socialized here. Medical care should not be a luxury.

I'm self-employed so I don't have insurance through an employer, can't afford private insurance, now from what I understand will be "penalized" with an additional tax which I can't afford because I can't afford insurance!
Avatar for carolejd
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-1999
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 10:00am
Hmm, well yes there is that aspect to it Molly. We all pay towards healthcare here through Federal and Provincial taxes. In Ontario a few years ago, they added a Health Surcharge to offset the spiralling cost of healthcare and that ruffled more than a few feathers at the time! I would not have thought though, that the cost to individuals for a major/universal healthcare program would be anything like the cost of funding your own private insurance.
Don't get me wrong,there is private healthcare here too, and most big companies include extra health insurance as part of their benefits packages.. The system is definitely not perfect; some Provinces are talking about introducing 2 tier healthcare systems for people with insurance or those who can afford to pay more as a way to reduce wait times in the mainstream(amongst other things) but at least the basic system is in place and available to everyone.

Carole

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