Basketcase

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Basketcase
4
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 9:04am

Hello everyone!  This is my first time posting.  I am 34 and finally 7w2d pregnant after my third IVF.  I always thought when I got to this point, I would be elated and joyful all the time.  Well, it is not exactly what I had hoped and I have become a total basketcase.  Everything was fine until 6w3d (this past Monday) and the date of my scheduled "heartbeat" US.  That morning, I got up from a chair at work and felt a really strong cramp which knocked me back into the chair.  It passed but I thought it was strange so I went to the bathroom.  Bright red blood...lots of it.  I know Jaime posted a similar story not too long ago.  It was terrifying and I was sure the worst had happened.  My RE had me come down right away and, to my utter disbelief, there was a happy little fetal pole measuring 5mm and a HB of 117.  I spotted small amounts of brown until Thursday and then it stopped.  I thought I was out of the woods.

Right...I should have known better.   Yesterday AM, I was having breakfast out with DH and went to the bathroom.  About half the panty liner I was wearing had red blood on it.  No cramping this time.  To my credit, I did not panic (but was nervous as hell!!!).  I called the RE's office calmly.  The doc happened to be there (on a Saturday!) and told me to come right over.  The doc said everything looked fine but after measuring the little bean, instead of telling me the measurement, just said there was a margin of error....what?  I saw the measurement and it was 8mm at 7w1d.  The heartbeat was really good at 140 and they did find a small subchorionic hematoma.  So, here I am, completely stressed about it only growing 3mm in 5 days even with a good heartbeat.  I vow to myself I will not google anymore and then find my hands drawn to the keyboard less than 10 minutes later.  I have had small brown spotting since then and the occasional mild twinge which of course leads to a frantic pull down of the pants...no matter where I happen to be.  My next US is Tuesday.

I know that bleeding is common in IVF pregnancies and my logical brain tells me to listen to the doc that everything is fine.  But my emotional infertile brain is screaming all the time.  Is there anyway to shut it up?  Has anyone found any ways to stay calm in the first trimester after IVF?  THANK YOU!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
In reply to: tess0425
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:01pm
Know exActly how you're feeling I think we were all that way and many of us including myself had bleeding in T1. I'd like to tell u after weeek 13 you won't worry but it's not true first it's a positive beta then u say but will it double then will there be a HB then you're released to an OB and it's way less monitoring so I worry there will be a HB at the next appointment the will ur Nt scan be normal the anatomy scan then my next mile stone was viability then getting to full term our brains are wired differently After going through so much you will have so many more joyous moments than nutcase moments but they'll probably still happen the good news is you have a reason for ur bleeding I too had a sch and it reabsorbed in the second T. There is a margin of error like + /- 5 days the measurements are so small it's hard to be exact try to enjoy this I know it's hard but it goes by sooo fast !
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
In reply to: tess0425
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 5:17pm
I'm sorry for all the bleeding and anxiety!!! I know when I finally got my BFP I expected all the worrying to be over and it just doesn't happen that way. Anything that relaxes you is a good thing - if that means doing some shopping on line, meditating, meeting with friends for lunch...whatever it takes. I repeated to myself over and over "it's out of your hands, what will be will be". I figured the ONLY thing I could do was try to focus on eating well, sleeping as much as possible and sending all the positive thoughts I could muster to my little bean. I hope your u/s goes great on Tuesday, please KUP!

Caryn
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
In reply to: tess0425
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 12:55pm
Good news today!! I am 7w4d, baby is measuring 12mm which is 7w3d and heart rate 147!!!! I can keep my sanity for at least a little while longer! Thank you all for your positive thoughts!!! Think I need a nap now :smileyhappy:
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 1:18pm
I was just coming in to check on you!!! Sounds like your little bean is doing PERFECTLY =) That is so awesome! Enjoy your nap *LOL* Hope all the bleeding stays away. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing!

Caryn