Sex and the older man
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|Sun, 09-30-2012 - 11:59am|
I posted this on another board, but I am hoping to find some men to respond to this. I really want help from the male perspective. I have gf's to give me advice, but that is our point of view. I know my view! That is not going to help me understand how to deal with the male ego and sex.
I have started seeing a man whom I really like. We enjoy spending time together and so far, so good. Sex is good, but I am more adventurous than he is. I have no idea how to "teach" him without injuring his ego. He was married for 20+ years and I think his ex was into more vanilla sex, very little foreplay, and sex was all about the intercourse and orgasm. He doesn't seem comfortable talking about sex, although he is loosing up a little. Although when we get playful verbally, he will back down when the banter goes too far. (Which isn't very far!)
I am not into anything really kinky, although I guess to some it is. I belive the sex should be fun, playful and be about more than just "doing it". I do not want to freak this poor man out. He seems uncomfortable touching my anywhere but my breasts, and either has never preformed oral or doesn't like it, because the appears out of the question at this point. He does enjoy a blow job, but so far does have not reciprocated. I try to slow things down, spend time paying attention to all of his body, but he doesn't seem to get the message that way. I do not have a problem being open, but he seems to, so I don't want to have him run screaming!
I told him from the beginning how much I enjoy sex and am very open to what he wants. I think he has never done anything more than vanilla, but I know damn well that there are thoughts rolling around in his head. He is a man after all! We come from too diffierent backgrounds, his is very much male orientated. And I know his ex was an addict for the last 10 years of their marriage so there wasn't a lot of sex anyway. He is a kind man, makes me laugh, relaxing to be with, doesn't play head games, and so the differences sexually are not so horrible that it's worth ending the relationship. But I do enjoy a healthy sex life and think we can be REALLY good together. I just don't know how to get there without scaring the poor man!