What would YOU do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
What would YOU do?
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 12:10pm

I hope this doesn't get too long and detailed.  I'm not very good at editing sometimes!

I went to a shaker museum in KY yesterday afternoon.  It was a self guided tour.  The young man at the ticket office looked like an even more attractive version of Ryan Gosling, if you can imagine.  When I purchased my ticket, I noticed a violin laying in a seat near his front desk.  I was waiting around for the 5 minute DVD to finish, so I could watch it before I started my tour.  I asked who played the violin.  He said he did, and would play a shaker tune for me later. 

Do you know when you meet someone, and it seems like there's some hint of a connection or attraction there?  It almost feels, I don't know, kind of comical?  To the point where, you kind of want to laugh out loud, but then you start to wonder if this person is simply charismatic and there really isn't a connection, that you're imagining it?  I sat in the room to watch the DVD and I could hear him talking to a customer outside the door.  I waited for a couple of minutes and then thought, well, I'll start the DVD myself, so I did . . . he came in at the end and apologized.  As I was leaving, I told him that I was going to hold him to his offer to play the violin for me.  He said "I'll do it now if you'd like".  So he played, and it was amazing.  Some other people trickled in . . . he played two, very short shaker songs.  I thanked him and went on my tour (other buildings on the property).

I was there for about three hours.  I had an hours drive back home so I stopped in to use the only restroom on the property which, was in the ticket office.  He asked if I enjoyed it, and I said yes.  He asked if I'd be back and I said that I would enjoy bringing my nieces (it was lovely).  I'll attach a picture or two.  So after I used the loo, I thanked him again for the tunes, told him to have a nice evening and walked outside to head to my car. 

I'd left my cell phone in the car and had a few txts, so I sat there reading them.  Just as I was opening the first text, he walked outside and sat on a railing just to the left of me (on a platform about 6 feet above but we could clearly see one another).  When I'd glance up, I'd catch him looking in my direction, and he'd look away or vice versa.  This guy was HOT.  I couldn't help but sneak a peek when I thought I wouldn't be noticed.  I guess I sat there for a couple of minutes.  When I started my engine, he glanced down with the biggest grin and waved goodbye.  Of course, I grinned and waved back.   

I know I've rambled unnecessarily.  I'll likely never see this boy again and I use the word boy because he was clearly in his early 20's.  My camera battery had gone dead and when I got home, the first thing I did was switch it out so I could see the picture I'd taken of him while he was playing the violin.  I feel so foolish, but something seemed to be there.  Not that I would act on it.  I'm sure there are throngs of girls at his disposal.  Why on earth would he be interested in any sort of involvement with a 39 year old who lives an hour away?  I just can't get him out of my head today.  It's ridiculous!

Anyway, I just wondered what some of you here would have done.  The same thing I did?  Which, was to rationalize the situation.  Tell yourself that he was probably bored or was just being friendly and doing his job?  I wanted to say something about his being so outwardly handsome but I thought it would look sad or desperate, LOL.  Would you have?  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd not have done that in hopes of anything happening.  I just kind of wondered if it was obvious I was attracted to him so I thought perhaps I should have just tossed it out (even though I was trying hard to disguise it).  Have you ever been in a similar situation?  I'm sure you have!  Please share! 










iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 12:36pm

well first off I think its perfectly normal for a younger guy to flirt with you.. You look younger than 39 according to that photo you posted of yourself.so maybe he was interested... so lets say he is 30 and you are 39 why not go back there and see if he likes you? YOu have nothing to lose but a tank of gas and yes gas is pricey these days.. I believe in always following up with things no matter what. As long as he isnt with a gfriend or married why not??

Since I am a veteran this has happened to me more in life and as I age I try and not miss any opportunity....

I was volunteering yesterday all day for a walkathon.. Now of course most people were married and had SO;s..There was a guy though who I started talking to and he was about my age.. He did mention at times about a wife.. Now my sis thinks he is divorced and she is going to find out.. He even said he would drive me home if I didnt have a ride.. I of course had a ride but that was really nice of him.

So now in all of this time the guys are either married, sep, very old, younger than me or live in another state yet I wont ever think there might be a great opportunity here and there..and I dont want to miss out on one single opportunity that could be presented to me.

Let us know what you decide girl.. (love ya)

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:16pm
I probably would have done exactly what you did, then kicked myself later over it! I'm hoping someone has a brilliant suggestion for both of us!
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:23pm
Free, I'd have thought you'd have taken him up on that ride home - whether you had one already or not ... hehe.

The moment I start allowing my mind to travel to those places (involving myself with him or even attempting to do so) I tell myself that I'm being utterly ridiculous. There's no way on earth that what I thought was there, was . . . I refuse to believe it. That's not due to low self esteem but the fact that I view myself as a realist. He IS out of my league.

I'll do what I always do in these situations and reflect back on those dreamy eyes until the butterflies fade away and reality finally sets in . . . and that's okay.

I was just curious what you guys would have done.

I hope your sister finds that this guy you met is available!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:40pm

I know CFK.. I should have def. taken that ride but I was working and he was about leaving the park right at that moment and didnt think he was going to wait for me.. (ha ha).. Darn he mentioned a wife and kids in that conversation a few times and dont know why?? Maybe I was looking at him with lust and he noticed (lol)

Anyway;; I am a realist also but I do dream and have fantasies of meeting someone no matter where I might end up.....

I used to have this thing about leagues also until once in a blue moon I would get a note or a friend request from a younger guy or someone out of the country.. Right now I have a 40 year old guy who lives in Italy on facebook who says I am beautiful and he wants to chat. what?????????? Of course its nuts but I am so flattered.. and my friends are cracking up and saying you have some secret crushes..and its all in good fun I guess..

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. now dont forget that.. (lol)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:51pm

I probably would have done nothing, like you...and just had a nice fantasy later.  I would definitely not have commented on his good looks.  I suppose the most you could have done would be to ask him when he got off work--I probably wouldn't have had the nerve to do that either.  I am not good at making the first move.

My ex & I used to talk about going to the Shaker museums here in MA but we never got there.  The Shakers were all celibate--not a good idea if you don't want your religion to die out!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 1:59pm
Please don't pass up the opportunity to chat with the guy in Italy. Winks.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 7:44pm
Yeah, the way it was left, I can pretend like he *may* have been somewhat mutually attracted. Had I acted on it, I might not have that luxury! Ha!

The sad thing about the land was, there had once been over 200 structures dating back as far as 1818. Some farmer came along and destroyed all but a handful of them. He even tore up a cemetery. I guess land was land, and he needed it in order to provide for his family.

I didn't realize until the other day that they were celibate. Apparently, there are still some practicing Shakers in or around your area. It's amazing that there are still some in existence considering that they have had to rely on converts. It was pretty interesting stuff. I enjoyed it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 7:21am

I would have done exactly what you did and enjoyed the fantasy for a while.  When you put reality into something it never turns out the way your fantasy does.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 8:56am
If I were you, I would be visiting that place every weekend for the eye candy :smileyhappy:
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 1:10am

Believe it or not, quite a few young guys are attracted to older women. I know..im one of them. Most of the 20-something girly girls are immature or too annoying. Guys see older women as having more experience in life...among other things...Don't put yourself down either. Just like fine wine, you may look better in your 39 years then the overpowdered, fake hair, fake lash wannabe barbie 20 something's. Some guys are repulsed by those fake and immature type of personalities and see beauty in your natural state.