reason i hate online dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2012
reason i hate online dating
8
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:16pm

so, I went on a second date with a great guy. we have had a ton of fun both dates. after our first date he texted me the next day and said he had a great time. after the second date, which went really well and kept making references to our third date, i texted him the next morning and said hey, hope you got up in time (he had to be up early and we had stayed up very very late). he said he had to be up at 7 am. it was brutal but worth it. i said i was glad and had fun.

 

anyway, he didn't ask me out on another date. we are both single parents with very limited time. the first time he took 2 days after our date to ask me out, and he hasnt asked me out again yet so can't say for sure that he will. however, i went to take my online dating profile down because my month is up, and i haven't had the best month on it, and it showed that he had logged on in the last 24 hours. that meant, that even though he didn't ask me on another date, he HAD logged on the day after our date to check out some other people. 

 

just sucks. venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 9:36am
As a guy, if things went well, I'll be making contact during the week just because I enjoy talking to her - quick texts, emails, whatever.
 
Also as a guy, I don't like it when I feel like I'm making all the effort to make initial contact each week and she's sitting back in cruise control. Especially after good dates.
 
When first meeting someone, there are all those little misunderstandings and quick judgements that go both ways and can kill things, so he could also easily be saying something like - "I haven't heard from her and, look, she logged in without saying anything to me. Probably not into me."
 
Wouldn't hurt within the week to make some contact with him, you must have had a bunch of things in common to talk about and keep a conversation going, something about his kids, whatever. If after two weeks and no hint of plans, he's not into you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 9:46pm

I feel that if a guy hasn't called in a week he has probably lost interest.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 9:02pm

In life there are events that change everything.  We cannot control these events.  Who knows what is happening in another's life?  There is no time set in stone.  IMO continue to date have fun and go with the flow it will be a lot less wear and tear on you that way.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2012
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 8:36pm

in everyones experience, how long after a date should a guy call you again?

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 8:20pm

It is always a game of frustration.  The expectations of the past and the realities of the future present are the times we live in.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2012
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 6:27pm

Thanks. I guess i just feel like if he really wanted another date, knowing i only have so many free days in my week, he would have locked in a third before going to check in on his online dating situation. i don't know. a little discouraged.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:34pm

FWIW, I don't think waiting 2 days to ask you for the next date is long at all.  If he has kids he has obligations and maybe he has to check his schedule before he  can ask you out.  I used to do this trick--if I had already started dating someone, I would block myself from seeing his profile so that I wouldn't know if he had logged on or not--no use adding to your frustration.  But unless the guy & I had agreed to be exclusive, if I had only had 2 dates with someone, yes I would still be looking on line too.  I think it is sometimes a good idea not to get too caught up in someone at the beginning.  Since you logged on also, he could be thinking the same things about you.  In the old days, you just never knew what someone was doing if they weren't with you.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 2:26pm
Perhaps he went on just to see if you'd been back on the site. Either way, if he likes you, he'll ask you out again. If he doesn't, there are more fish in the sea. Keep your chin up.