9 months NC today

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
9 months NC today
17
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 3:04pm
If I can do it, you can do it!

That is all :smileyhappy:

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 3:26pm

9 months!!  Awesome!!!!!!

Three more months, Rain, and you'll be inducted into the Hall of Vets!Way Too Happy...that's me..all kinds of happy.

((hugs))

Clarity


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2008
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 4:42pm
Yeah Rainie,
Keep walking the walk and helping the rest of us stay on the path!!

~ Songs
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 4:53pm

Being new to the board (today) and only on day 7 of NC, I want to thank you for this post! Such hope I have found here! THANKS!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 4:57pm
Congrats Rainie!!! Awesome job!
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 5:51am
Thoughts on 9 months out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 7:42am
Raine,
Well done!! Keep walking the walk..... So pleased for you. Im 5 months out today, and reading your story and seeing your determination has really encouraged me. You are an inspiration!

(((hugs)))
Sunny Soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 10:19am
So, since you asked (LOL), here are my thoughts.

I have actually been out of the A for 16 months. After 4 months of NC last summer, xAP fished. I , to my detriment, agreed to try being "friends", for a few months. Last contact, from my side, was Dec 30. He emailed me once after that and I have never responded.

To be.honest, I still miss him. Not the A, but our long pre-A friendship. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't cross my mind multiple times.

But, it is bearable now. And that is a good, good thing.

I am so much better off than I was in the beginning and every day and every step I take.gets me.further away.from that.

You just have to keep doing it. Every day.

And know that it does get better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 12:10pm

Cominginfromtherain,

Thank you for sharing.  This is so encouraging.  But, tell me.  So your contact with XAP just sort of "dwindled" down to nothing?  There was no message regarding; STOP. Leave me alone.  ??

I ask because as you may know, I have tried to have NC by just not responding and my XAP will not stop fishing.  And, of course, he times he fishes, it affects me in negative ways and is unsettling, etc.  Which comes out in negative ways, towards myself and others.

Thoughts?

~Sunrise

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 1:24pm
Sunrise, I had sent an NC message in June 2011. He fished in October. We had several talks about trying to rebuild our friendship over the next few months. But it was awkward and sad. I sent another NC message in early December and rescinded it the next day. We just never got back on the page where we could genuinely be friends again. Too much water under the bridge.
The last email he sent me pissed me off. I decided to wait a few days to respond and then never did.
While he was trying to convince me we *could* be friends again several months earlier, he said several times that he would understand if I was "done".
By not responding, he knew I was done so there was no need for another NC message.

I am.so very sorry your xAP is not being resoectful of your wishes Sunrise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 3:22pm

Thank you.  I am sorry he isn't either.

There may be some that read about my XAP being the king of fishermen and wish that their XAP would fish. 

Be SO grateful when they don't. 

These fishing attempts are a slap in the face to me now.  That he has NO respect for me, can just throw some crumbs my way at any ole' time, for grins and giggles, I guess.  I have not responded for MONTHS, yet he STILL fishes.

What kind of game is this for him?

I am no longer flattered, BY ANY MEANS.

I mean, really. Who the h$ll does he think he is?:smileymad:

 

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