9 months NC today

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
9 months NC today
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 3:04pm
If I can do it, you can do it!

That is all :smileyhappy:


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 1:06pm

Hi luluellis :smileyhappy:

You can't just pop your pretty little head up, and in, without getting snatched!  Let us know how you are doing.  And I've always wanted to mention how much I love your picture.  That's us...precious seedlings that need to be nutured to grow and blossom into real beauties. 

That goes for you as well, Ms. Daisy :smileywink:



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 10:07am
Hey girlfriend!!!!



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2011
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 1:30pm

Congrats, Sweets.  Love ya!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 6:10pm
The version said to me was "if I can't have you, why would I leave?" This from someone I knew would never leave. I actually had it easy because I never had to think about leaving my M. My emotions for this guy really got in the way of rational thought. I know I'm not out of the fog yet. One day at a time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 5:47pm

What kind of friendship can it be when we have to talk behind our spouses back and it just hurts anyway?

EXACTLY!!!!!  Totally right on.  My XAP has always gone down that "I'll alway love you but I know that you can't leave your spouse, so therefore, I won't leave mine.  But I'll always love you."  

That's what I cannot stomach.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 5:09pm
Proud of you too Rainie.

I think you are amazing.


Yellow xx

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 4:46pm
At the end xAP and I had one more, "we're focusing on our marriages but we'll always be friends" flurry of emails. That time, he pissed me off, too. As you know, I struggle with the loss of friendship issue. What kind of friendship can it be when we have to talk behind our spouses back and it just hurts anyway? Proud of you for getting this far.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 3:22pm

Thank you.  I am sorry he isn't either.

There may be some that read about my XAP being the king of fishermen and wish that their XAP would fish. 

Be SO grateful when they don't. 

These fishing attempts are a slap in the face to me now.  That he has NO respect for me, can just throw some crumbs my way at any ole' time, for grins and giggles, I guess.  I have not responded for MONTHS, yet he STILL fishes.

What kind of game is this for him?

I am no longer flattered, BY ANY MEANS.

I mean, really. Who the h$ll does he think he is?:smileymad:


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 1:24pm
Sunrise, I had sent an NC message in June 2011. He fished in October. We had several talks about trying to rebuild our friendship over the next few months. But it was awkward and sad. I sent another NC message in early December and rescinded it the next day. We just never got back on the page where we could genuinely be friends again. Too much water under the bridge.
The last email he sent me pissed me off. I decided to wait a few days to respond and then never did.
While he was trying to convince me we *could* be friends again several months earlier, he said several times that he would understand if I was "done".
By not responding, he knew I was done so there was no need for another NC message.

I am.so very sorry your xAP is not being resoectful of your wishes Sunrise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 12:10pm


Thank you for sharing.  This is so encouraging.  But, tell me.  So your contact with XAP just sort of "dwindled" down to nothing?  There was no message regarding; STOP. Leave me alone.  ??

I ask because as you may know, I have tried to have NC by just not responding and my XAP will not stop fishing.  And, of course, he times he fishes, it affects me in negative ways and is unsettling, etc.  Which comes out in negative ways, towards myself and others.