Help....

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Help....
14
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 7:14pm
That's all I need....desperately...I'm desperate...
In short for now...I saw it coming over the last probably couple weeks. I've tried to prepare myself...read here, healing library, tell myself it has to be. Nothing prepares you...absolutely nothing.. I guess we were in the throws of the average A of 3-4 years and have ended more than once. I really think this is it... I really tried preparing.. but, in beyond myself, what has happened to me, I've been crying off/on all day and giving my H some excuse about my face etc. I want to scream to the heavens, fall to the earth, I can't breath...I can't do this..

Help....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to:
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 7:48pm

Okay, tdalways...slow breathing...in and out...in and out...in and out.  I'm serious...it'll help center you.

Okay...now tell us what happened.  Who ended it?  Give us the longer version...it'll probably make you feel a little better just getting it all out.

You've come to the right place.  We'll support you through this.  And you CAN do this...it is not the end of your world.

((hugs))

Clarity


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
In reply to: withclarity
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 9:53pm

Okay, (((tidalways)))

Get a good night's sleep and post in when you can.  Don't despair.  You'll be okay.

Clarity


Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
In reply to: ratherbeme
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 7:56am

Welcome to the board, and the support of people who have all done it, and are continuing to do it.

As long as you are changing your life, why not make some important changes in your life at the same time.  Exercise is the one of the best detractors possible. A fit body is a healthy body. 

Alcohol is a depressant. It will only make you feel worse.  I know from experience.

Now is the time to change your life positively, new ideas, new ways of living.  Give it a try.

Posting is a good way to release those pent up emotions and let it all out, instead of holding it all in, and constantly rethinking the 'what-ifs'.  Change at this point of your life is good. Getting it on paper gives you opportunity to look at it realistically instead of the fantasy that it is.

We are pulling for you,

Rather....

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
In reply to:
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 11:52am

Tdalways,

Are you doing ok today?  Talk to us.  We understand-completely.  Come here everyday.  And I hope you will talk to us and share.  You are not alone.  We have all done this.  It WILL get eaiser.  Hang on.  Hang on to us.

~Sunrise

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 11:54am

Please check in and let us know how you are Always.

We have all been there and done this.  You can do it too.

Strength to you

Rain

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
In reply to:
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 9:42pm
Hi TD - are you there? how is it, and yes you can use an AWFUL scale of 1-10. Sorry for the pain and craziness but it's the quick tunnel out adn then you'll be able to see and breathe again. let us know -

Daisy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
In reply to:
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 11:59pm

TD you can do this! Believe me I have been there myself! It is true horror! But one minute at a time. Just Breathe! Tell yourself the truth about this A situation. Think about why you have tried to end it so many times before! I did the same for the 5 years I was in the A. I would end it and be back again.. only to come back and feeling worse each time. I kept losing more and more of me. The key is to re-direct your thoughts and really see this A for what it is! It is actually hard to do at first.. because the realization that it was all lies is a tough pill to swallow! But do you really want to continue to feel like that? Take some of you back little by little and start by saying you are worth more than this!

Just Breathe.... its not the end of the world. It is the start of a new beginning!

Walk by faith... not by sight! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
In reply to: buddy2011
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 1:17am

Dear tdalways, 

As bad as you feel now, it could have been a lot worse if you had not ended and had a discovery like i did a year ago this month.  My life is still messed up and people are hurt because I never was able to stick with one of my many endings.  Think about how painful this is right now for you and imagine it a hundred times worse.....everyone on this board says time is your friend so just ride the waves and know that you will survive like everyone else has....i would give anything to have another opportunity to go back and change the events of this past year and not hurt the people I have hurt including myself.  Count your blessings right now and not what you think you lost....that is nothing compared to having to deal with the carnage of a discovery.  Good luck to you!  

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2012
In reply to: lilyflower
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 1:52pm
Buddy,
I have to personally agree there as well...many a times I think this could have been so much easier if I didnt have a dday!!! So much easier to handle. Unfortunatley no one really can see that until it happens to them and yep that is what happened to me!!! We always think just one more get together, one more kiss, one more I love you...all that does is get you closer the the dday..and it happened to me!!!

So TD although it hurts, and I know it hurts like nothing else....think that even though you dont realize it can hurt even more if you have a dday. But hurt is hurt and you just need to plant your feet down and do this for you and your family, your kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
In reply to: buddy2011
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 6:54pm
Sorry you had to go through it as well, Lilyflower. It is Incomprehensible how bad it can be to those who have not gone through it. If there were a graceful way to exit this life without causing more hurt to those i love, i would do it. Please TD take our advice and believe us when we say what you are going through now is a piece of cake compared to a DDay. I think we can handle our own hurtsa lot better than being responsible for hurting others on top of our own hurts, which even after a year, I don't even go there.....