BLACK HOLES c/p

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2004
BLACK HOLES c/p
5
Sun, 09-30-2012 - 7:45pm

BLACK HOLES.

Two black holes,
defying the laws of the Universe,
(the right and left leg of my pajamas).
I hover…..
NO! I give way to gravity,
the unrelenting force that
destroys such feeble minds as mine.
Science is vindicated,
when I stumble against
such force as this,
unrelenting ,
black holes are supposed to draw in all matter,
but, my pajamas defy gravity,
they reject my legs,
I stumble,
and fall over.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-1999
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 7:22am
Next time, put them on before drinking. It'll be easier.
"It is with a strange malice / That I distort the world." -- from The Weeping Burgher by Wallace Stevens
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2004
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 5:55am

Now! why didn't I think of that?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 12:19pm

LOL! But, now, Pat, what kind of poetic critique is that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 12:26pm

Ray, strikes me you have an interesting collection of V and F sounds: defy, hover, gravity, force, feeble, vindicated, over. Maybe I'm imagining it but the alliteration seems to highlight frailty, or the passing of time. Might be more powerful if the same words weren't repeated.

Jackie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2004
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 11:29am

I find your comments to be of great interest Jackie.  Perhaps without realizing it, I have conveyed exactly what you imagined, and although this was meant to be humorous, (as Pat picked up on, she knows me all too well) it was indeed born of reality in that it did happen, not because of the reason Pat suggested but more to do with your perception of frailty, these days a strong wind would blow me over.