4 month relationship ended boyfriend went to rehab
Hi, I was dating my boyfriend since beginnig of May, The whole time I was concerned about his drinking ... very. finally i realized that it was for sure a problem and I confronted him and told him he needs help. he then told him family and friends and was going to go to out patient rehab. the day he was going to start he admitted there that he was also taking xanxex and was addicted as well... he is not inpatient program. I am a mother of two children who is divorced. I told him i could not be a part of this recovery with him and he needs to get better on his own. i fell in love with him but realized he was never sober with me and he has tons of stuff to work on before he can be healthy in a relationship. but then since he got there he was calling me daily and all im doing is crying cause i totally thought i was going to live my life with him and saw a future... so did my children fell in love with him. but, I can't consure myself with this and be a good mother to my children. so, i have to cut ties and said we can't talk anymore... all I can do is think about him and miss him so much. but, I worry how can I stop everything when i have two small children for a 4 month relationship with an addict. it just does not make sence no matter how much it hurts!!!! ;( how will I ever feel better!!
Congratulations on doing the right thing. Unfortunately, the right thing sometimes hurts. You need to concentrate on what life could have been like with him if he continues drinking. Read some of the threads. Life with an alcoholic and addict is a living nightmare.
Hugs to you for the hurts you have.
Make the break clean. No texts, cards, notes, phone calls. He needs to concentrate on sobriety and you need to concentrate on healing.
thank you for your kind words... I am hearing all the same things from my friends and family... it is so hard.. I am just waiting for the day to stop thinking as much about him or dreaming about him.. I have to erase his texts and voicemails too becasue I tend to read them or listen to them. I know in time.. this will pass.. i am concerned what will happen when he does come home.. i for sure think he will contact me then, I need strength to not see him.
you are so right..... it is just so hard! worried for when I hear from him for when he comes back home... I think I will.
it sucks!!! he came home and my therapist along with all my friends and family said I can't talk to him not good for him and not good for me. I got a message on thursday morning and one later that evening .. then i texted im so sorry i have to have no contact its not healthy for me... and my children. he went on to say he loves me and i saved his life and he will miss me etc. and how I will always have a special place in his heart. i said he will as well... i did not go on and on about missing him and loving him.. i thought that would make it harder. I wish i couls have spoken to him... but i do think the convo woudl have been harder than these texts were plus would it really be good for him if i was hystercial on the phone the day he gets back? this sucks... I so badly wish I could tell him more tell him I'm back in therapy working through all this.. so badly say I wish I could see him kiss him hug him know how he is doing.
so much of all those things!!! ;( ;(
pls read my new post tried replying to you