kiss on a second date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
kiss on a second date?
19
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 8:49am

I met a guy on Saturday for coffee.

He was telling me that he expects something on a second, at least some kissing.

By third date, he expects sex. According to him if by third date,  the girl does not give herself to the guy, the guy can go back online to find many who is willing.

I told him, I don't like to be rushed and rather know him as a friend first before jumping into a relationship.

After the meet, I never got another text from him again. Before the meet, he was constantly sending me, how are you texts. 

Just wanted to share this.

 

 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 8:27am
I get the pressure that if I don't put out according to his timeline, he will date others. That was an interesting meet. But it is all moot now. I haven't heard a beep from him since that meet.

It is not like I haven't had sex on the second date, it is way he wants it that puts me off.
I also had a meet the day before with a guy. I like this guy. He was polite and did not ask any intimate questions. We just talked about work and things in general.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 8:58am

"I get the pressure that if I don't put out according to his timeline, he will date others". And I say good riddance then. You wouldn't want a man like that for long term anyways. There should be no pressure.  Sex should be dictated by the woman and their timeline. Of course don't be surprised if on the polar opposite one flees after 20 dates or 6 months, that just screams some kind of underlying red flag problem with a woman's sexuality, mental stability or ultra conservative religious affiliation if theyre not into the same religious affiliation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 11:12am
" don't be surprised if on the polar opposite one flees after 20 dates or 6 months, that just screams some kind of underlying red flag problem with a woman's sexuality, mental stability or ultra conservative religious affiliation.."

This also applies to men. I dated a guy for about 4 months. I was a bit confused. He never attempted to hold hand or kiss or anything. Yet he keeps asking me out. It was like hanging out with my brother.



Polar extremes do exist. Some guys are too impatient and some take forever.

..
Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 1:17pm

So right!  I myself have had experience with sex on first meeting, to a person spending six months before sex.   Human sexuality so confusing! 

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 4:29pm

I would like a kiss at the end of the first date, not a make out session at all, but a tangible physical sign that the person is physically attracted to me.

After you spent a few hours with the person, you should know if you don't want to pursue a romantice relationship with the person. If you aren't sure, but think maybe, why not a kiss. Again, not french kissing, but not a kiss on the cheek either. If you know that you aren't attracted me, that's ok, but the no kiss lets me know.

Edited to say that a daytime first date may be different than a nighttime first date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 11:41am
The first time, we call it a MEET. It wasn't a date. Just meeting casually for coffee to see if there is dating potential.

Sorry, I usually don't know if I am attracted or not based on 1 or 2 dates.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2012
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 8:49pm

He is a player, don't contact him anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 9:27pm
I haven't heard from him since the meet. He was basically laying out his expectations.

You are right, a relationship has to be established first.

Pages