need strength to carry on today

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
need strength to carry on today
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 1:41pm

Well, never say never.  I said he would never apologize. And then he did.  I have to say, I was shocked.  He says he's "willing to try and make this work for both of us".  Ok,  I know in my head there is nothing that will make this work.  But my heart is saying something so different.  Thirteen years is a lot to let go of so quickly.

I have to just let it go, but it's a lot harder today.  Somehow it was easier when he was being so awful and hurting me. 

I haven't replied and I don't want to.  What would I even say? Sorry sometimes just isn't enough. 

I wish I knew what to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2012
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 2:45pm

Ooh..hang in there.

Yes he apologized. But you have changed. It won't be the same..because now you are making informed decisions. I know..kinda sux...but that's the reality. suggestion? Let it go.

You can do this.

  The difference between who you are and who you imagine yourself to be, is what you do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 3:34pm

Someone once said "If you don't know what to do, do nothing".  I don't know who it was, but I think they're on to something.

At this point, you at least know what you should not do...for now, that might have to be good enough.

Did you recently communicate?  See if we stay NC, it avoids a lot of confusion and keeps us from becoming engaged once again in the affair...even if only in our minds.

And what do you think he meant by "willing to try and make this work"?  Make what work?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 4:03pm
Hmm. An 'apology' from a 'bad guy, liar, cheater, manipulator' ... please pass on this one, blonde.

You haven't buckled down and given youself a chance. You were still getting texts, answering calls and obviously never gave NC a try. Please get some distance, commit to YOU, see what that feels like.

Unless that 'make it work' thing looks like leaving spouses and making an honest go of it? If so, then go for it openly and fully.

Let us know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 4:42pm
He wants to apologize so the cycle can begin all over again? Are you up for this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 5:11pm
He wants to apologise because you didn't respond to his threats and manipulations.

He's trying another tack - don't bite.

Yellow xx

"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves." ~Henry David Thoreau~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 7:24pm
I agree, he is trying to manipulate you. What he was doing wasn't working so now he is going to try being sweet.
Go NC and stay NC and the fog will lift.

I am.sorry though.

Hugs and strength to you
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2011
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 10:58am
blonde - how are you feeling?