Old timers, had a trigger here

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Old timers, had a trigger here
3
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 1:43pm

And I am just frustrated.  It likely was something "familiar" I've read or seen on t.v. or heard on the radio or SOMETHING over the weekend.  But last night and today my mind is on the bimbo who shared an EA with my DH 5 long years ago.  I know I've mentioned he screwed up BIG TIME with one specific issue I found out about just over 2 years ago, and my therapist explained that "started the clock all over again", so it's felt like it's been 2 years rather than 5.  I simply hate "reminders", you go along for a long time barely even THINKING of the OW anymore and then bam.  I feel bad for everyone on this board since we all have those "reminders" and sometimes diversions just don't work.  I want the old ME back, the one who laughs all the time and stays busy all the time and is not depressed so much.  My best friend and I still joke it's a shame we aren't lesbians because we'd probably be the happiest couple on earth.  How do you folks handle the reminders?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2011
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 7:07pm

I'm right with you on this one Myra. Reminders suck. Just when you think it's going good and you're getting past things they suck the life and happiness out of you. Over a year since the D Day of my DHs EA. Have worked on it - getting better - and I can get through whole weeks now without thinking of it and getting angry. Then DH tells me he's thinking about going to the town where she lives for Superbowl weekend with his friends. Brought EVERYTHING back like it was yesterday. Tired of feeling down about it  and letting his error in judgement ruin my life - going to start working out and pay a little more attention to me  - you're so right, I want that old me back! (and maybe I'll look into private investigators in MD to keep an eye on him while he is there) :smileyhappy:  

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 7:47pm
Hi Myra! Hugs to you. The removers are just a sucky side effect of our new lives as betrayed spouses. That said they do NOT have to define us our dictate our feelings. Diversions are great and sometimes the best diversion is to do something goid for someone else especially when you are feeling really bad. Even if you just make yourself run up to the convenience store to but you a drink buy the person behind you their drink too. That brings some of the happy back. It just sucks that we have to think that way instead of it being natural the way it used to be. hope your day is getting better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 1:55pm

Hi Myra,  I know I can't offer you a fabulous solution since I divorced my cheating H but know I offer you a cyber hug!  You have come so far and you offer hope to so many.  I guess  all you can do is just feel the twinge of pain and know this too shall pass.

Big Hugs!

Ollie