Dog Problem at the In Laws

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Dog Problem at the In Laws
9
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 4:54pm

I have a dilemma. My in laws have this wild, vicious dogs their kids found and brought home. We were going to go over to their house this summer for a barbeque with the caveat that if the dog did not behave himself while we were there that we would go to my mother in laws house instead. When we got there they were restraining the dog in the back yard by holding him by the collar. This dog was lunging at their glass doors trying to get in to where we were. Snarling and barking. My SIL had my hubby go up to the door and the dog was jumping up on the glass teeth bared. They brilliantly decided to open the glass door and attempt for my hubby to give the dog a treat. The dog looked like it was going to rip my husband's face off. We had to leave. I told my husband there is no way I was going over to that house with the kids with that dog there. I mean why on earth would anyone keep an animal that was so vicious that you couldn't have any company, especially family? SIL said well the dog loved grandma. Fantastic! It HATES us. Now I know my husband, and I know he won't be able to stand not seeing his family for the holidays. We could invite them over to our house but they won't come over. It's too far, our house is too small, yadda, yadda. Am I wrong here? I mean even if they put the dog in the backyard, I wouldn't feel comfortable being there. What if someone accidently opened the door? And do I really want to be there for several hours with a violent dog barking and jumping on the glass door bearing it's teeth at my family? What if the dog got out? Arrgghh! This is so ridiculous!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 4:39pm

>>I agree, traiing is a better option. Hard to know if you can trust that dog, though<<

Cali, the first thing our trainer did was test him to see if he'd bite her.   When he kept his cool with her, she decided that he was able to be rehabilitated.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 7:29pm
We got "custody" of my SO's kids dog and he had horrible anxiety and was never socialized, like you mentioned. Tore everything up if left alone, and not a puppy, either.

Point being, I agree with you TBS if you can't train properly, then don't take the dog. We unfortunately had to let him and go and cross our fingers he could be rehabilited. Brakes my heart not knowing what happened, but he kept running away and we could not keep him safe.

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 6:59pm

The answer is training.   We took on a second hand dog which was fine with people but terribly aggressive with other dogs.  Turns out that he was never socialised as a pup and his behaviour was because he was terrified.  We got a trainer and with a lot of hard work, taught him how to socialise.   And other basics such as house manners.  He's now the most lovely dog in all respects

Are they taking any iniative in training this dog?    Thing is, for a dog to act out like this, it must be very stressed and anxious.   Training would make things comfortable for your family and make the dog happier.  Win/Win.

If training isn't an option, then they have no business taking on such a damaged dog.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 9:52pm

Personally, I put the "well being" of a dog or any other behind behind you and your family. I wouldn't go over again, andI woiuld  tell them its becasue of the dog.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 9:50am
Hmm. I agree with the others. Accept the dog or don't visit/invite them to your home instead.

Regarding not wanting to kennel the dog, here's one possible explanation (because this is what happened to us): It's possible the dog has separation anxiety and can't handle being kenneled or separated from MIL. We adopted a Doberman about two years ago. He's a great dog, but he'd been shuffled around so much (and who knows what kind of life he had before we got him) that he was just a mess for almost the entire first year we had him. It was so bad that I couldn't even walk my son to the bus stop without the dog freaking out. I couldn't even go to the grocery store until DH got home from work because the dog simply could not handle it. He'd pace and cry if I was out of his sight. I'm not trying to make excuses for MIL, but it's possible she can't isolate the dog right now. It was a long, hard road, but we're able to leave our adopted dog home alone for a few hours now. The first year was definitely a challenge, though.

Is there any other family member who would be willing to host for get togethers?

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 7:04pm

Although my first reaction was similar to yours, the other poster is right.  Either accept the dog or don't go over there.  At least with the kids. 

I have mixed feelings about pets.  I really, really don't like leaving a house covered in dog or cat hair, KWIM?  Once I know I can come prepared, but when you don't, it is no fun being jumped on by an excited dog.  Or more recently, I stayed outside and the black dog came up and rubbed against my white pants.  Ugh! 

Although it is the dogs home, I don't see any thing wrong with kenneling a dog while guests are there.  I don't know, some people take their dogs every where they go and others are totally opposite. 

I remember one holiday we took our dog to my parents and one of the guests was really suprised we had a dog in the house for a holiday gathering.  My MIL just said "the dog is part of the family."  We did put him out while we ate, though.

On a side note:  I wouldn't like it either.  Nothing against pet owners, but some pets are way better behaved than others.  I don't see how your visit would be enjoyable with the dog scratching and barking the whole time.  Vicious, or not. 

We more recently had a dog that we could not let loose with other dogs and honestly, he did kind of scare people who didn't like dogs.  But he listened when he was told lay down and if not, he went out back. 

 

 

Serenity
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2010
Mon, 10-01-2012 - 5:55pm
This one is easy. If the dog is that big of a problem, then just don't go over there anymore. I don't blame your ILs for not wanting to put the dog "away" when company comes over because I wouldn't do that to my dog either. It's my dog's house as much as it is mine, and it's cruel to confine an animal for several hours. So, we just don't host, and that's fine. If your MIL insists on hosting, then politely decline. If you want to host something at your house and they won't come over, then that's not your problem. Isn't there someone who lives closer to MIL (SIL, perhaps?) who can host for the holidays?