Not doing homework

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2012
Not doing homework
15
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 4:05pm

Ok..This is going to be long...I have raised 2 biological children and 3 step children who are all adults and my current DH has a 17 yr old DS that lives with us.  His dad works nights so I get the "pleasure" of enforcing restrictions.

DS is currently a Junior in High School and most of this Freshman and Sophomore years he lived on restriction.No cell phone, no xbox, etc.

This summer he had a job a bought a car, with the understanding if he didn't turn in his homework, he would not be driving it to school...well we ware 4 weeks into school and he only drove maybe 2 weeks, he hasn't had a cell phone for 3 weeks and has no xbox, kindle, DS or IPOD...nothing that connects to the internet.  AND he is still getting zero's.

When I caution him about spending his money on silly things he says well he would have a job if I would let him..oh...I didn't want him to have a job during school, because I wanted him to concentrate on school..and have fun on the weekends, but his father said if he turned in all his homework he could have a job and I reluctantly agreed.

So now he blames me for no car, no phone, no computer and no job...and I remind him, all he had to do was turn in his work.

He is a very very bright child, making 98-100 on the TAKS tests and is in a Charter School, so its not like he can't do the work, he just won't...

Any suggestions?

 

 

 

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Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 1:08pm
mahopac wrote:

 

When you start out with a high-maintenance kid like my oldest, you think that's what they're all going to be like.  I used to wonder when he was young if ODS had ADHD because he was superkinetic and refused to have anything to do with things he didn't like; on the other hand, if he was intensely interested in something he could spend hours with it, so attention deficit wasn't his problem.  Aspergers should have been diagnosed sooner but oh well. . .

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

I actually reesisted the ADHD diagnosis for myself and my kids at first for this very same reason. I thought it couldn't be ADHD b/c of the ability to intensely focus on something that's interested us, for hours at a time. However, a therapist then told us about the concept of "hyper-focusing", which is actually pretty common in those with ADHD.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/612.html

Lisa 

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 2:31pm

Thanks, Lisa, that was interesting.

At this point, ODS is 20yo and doing great in college, despite his various issues.  It's possible he does have ADHD, but he seems to have developed a lot of the coping mechanisms he needs to get through life.  And Aspergers is almost certainly the right diagnosis for him, even if it did come late.

Avatar for cmlisab
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 2:35pm

Oh, I definitely wasn't questioning his diagnosis- sorry if it came across that way! I just wanted to share since I'm 36 and never knew until recently that just b/c you can "hyper-focus", doesn't mean you can rule out ADHD.

As a side note- my 9 year old has hypelexia- hardly anyone has heard of it but Asperger's is probably the closest diagnosis to it. 

Lisa 

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 4:53pm

See, I just learned something else from iVillage! :smileyhappy:

 

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