Missing out on time with my kids vs. job I love...I feel trapped...please help
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|Tue, 10-02-2012 - 5:47pm|
I have 2 kiddos, a 4-year-old girl and 2-year-old boy. For the first several years after my daughter was born and first year after my son was born, my job worked with me on my schedule - I worked from home, worked less hours, less days, etc...they are still working with me in that I work four 10-hour days and have the other day off to be home with my kids. I have had this schedule for a year. Prior to that, I was working three 10s. This schedule has started to wear on me a lot lately and I am having a tremendous amount of guilt for being away from my kids so much. I talked to my boss the other day about going back to 30 hours and while she didn't flat out say no, it didn't sound promising. I was in tears about this last night to the point where my eyes were completely bloodshot and puffy this morning when I woke up. I feel completely stuck right now. I have been at my job for 7 years and absolutely adore it. I don't want to quit, only to find myself back hunting for a job in a few years when my kids are in full time school (and probably a job that won't hold a candle to this one). That being said, I am worried that years down the line, I will look back at this precious time with my little babies and feel like I wasn't there enough, I missed out, and that's time I can't ever get back. I do make the absolute most of my time with my kids on my day off and on nights and weekends - we bake cookies, color, watch cartoons, play in the yard and at the park, catch bugs, read stories, etc...but I am still experiencing an overwhelming feeling of sadness, guilt and simply being stretched too thin....please help...I would appreciate any stories, suggestions, advice, etc...thank you.