Slight panic

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Slight panic
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 10:50pm
Picking up on Worthmore's theme, I had a slight panic just now.

A few days ago I downloaded the Viber app. Goodheart and I are in different countries so it would be nice to call her cell for free instead of always having to call from my landline. Plus I have cousins in the UK I'd like to text.
None of my contacts were on Viber when I downloaded it. But tonight I.downloaded it on my daughters iPod touch and she put our landline as her contact info. It's in my name. She almost immediately got a msg from a guy I used to work with from when I first started in my business (ironically the same month I met xAP 13 years ago). He thought she was me, it was just a 'hey stranger' msg.

What freaked me.out was, what if xAP has not erased info and he is now on Viber (not unlikely since he has moved to and so was unable to cheaply text his friends here any more).

Maybe he never entered info after he moved a new phone since, at that time, it was costly to text or call me.

Otherwise, I.must have popped up when.I joined. Ugh. I hate that I even.have to worry that he might respond to that. Or, worse, think that I am fishing.

It has been a couple of days, so hopefully it is.OK and I am not in.his contacts.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 10-02-2012 - 11:29pm

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you are not in his contacts.  I don't even know enough about it to assure you that after two days it should be fine, so I'll keep my toes crossed as well.

I'm sorry, Rain...that stuff likes this still comes up to cause you angst.

Btw, while I gotcha...congratulations on your nine months!  Please give my regards to Goodheart. 



Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 7:18am

Just some nice to know information for those of us who don't have enough to worry about.

Those smart phones carry a lot of info, that even when deleted, really doesn't delete it and saves it somewhere, maybe cyberspace.  It's out there.

I am using my fourth smart phone, and each time I have gotten a new one, I was surprised at the information that automatically downloads from servers from the telephone companies, information that is stored on the little memory card and.................even worst, I don't know where.  Scary for sure.

When did I download a program that logs every text, every word, date, time, every phone call, ever numbers that I called or called me?????? It's all there if you know where to look.

Yes, it's really there.  I know it's all there.  I've seen it.  I know how to find it.


I don't think it can be erased.

It is just downright scary, if you have anything to hide, beware.

Just letting you know.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 7:55am
Thanks RBM. I am 2 smartphones removed from the A and I *tried* to retrieve a bunch of stuff from my old phones and H and I could not figure out how.
So hopefully I am OK.
But it is a good warning for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 7:58am
Clarity, thanks. If I was in his contacts and if he has that app, I will show up but it would have been instantaneous. So, I think I am OK since its been a couple of days.
I really did not like that feeling at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 10:02am


I know; it is just more fall out from our poor decisions.  As you say, whether or not it would ever happen, the fact that we have to STILL be "haunted" by A behavior feels like crap.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 10:50am

Hi Rain,

I too hope it is a non-issue for you but I totally understand the “haunting” part.

Glad to read you are not letting a remote “what if” fear stop you from using a resource to keep in contact with close friends and family. Good for you for pushing through while working to keep it all in check.



Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 11:42am
I saw Viber and immediately thought this was about a vibrator app.

I checked and there is no blocking feature on Viber, which means if xAP has your contact info he can call you with this app.

Believe RBM, the information is there. FB logs every email address you've received or sent emails too, not just your contact list, the information is all out there somewhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 1:52pm
thankfully xAP and I.never communicated via FB. In fact, I have an.alias on.there and very limited "friends".
I just never wanted clients trying to friend me. I get enough.of.that on LinkedIn.

But yes, it is unbelievable how we all leave such a big electronic "footprint".

xAP is not blocked. I don't know his new cell # so no way to block it. I can't block his email address either. But he is being respectful and has left me alone.

I think I was more worried that he would think *I* was fishing, which might prompt him to respond. I am quite sure he will never fish again himself.

Thanks everyone for your support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2011
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 9:01pm

Hi Rain-

I feel your pain, Sister.  Technology can connect us to those we don't want to connect to.  I am on LinkedIn and because XAP is the owner of the company I worked for most of my adult life, I spelled the company name differently on the experience section of the profile.  That way it didn't link me to his company profile.  But, one day..there he is...popping up under the people you may know section.  And we have NO shared connections, so why did this happen?  And did I pop up under his??  We haven't seen each other at all since our 7 year A ended 3 years ago.  It threw me a little to see his picture, but I didn't look at his profile (THANK GOD!  I realized later that people know when you read their profile! That would have been awful!!)  Just  another reminder that we have to always be careful.

Hugs to you Rain.

Formerly heartacheafter7years
Avatar for worthmore
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2012
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 12:06am
The electronic footprint is something to consider. I've tried to be careful but I'm sure mine is massive nonetheless. Thanks for bringing this issue to the board. I've been looking at those apps. I might keep looking for one with a few more controls and then try to convince my friends to move to it. Tall order.