Never had orgasm without rubbing,how can i have without it

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2012
Never had orgasm without rubbing,how can i have without it
4
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 4:08am

hi,

I'm new on this site. Its my first post. My problem is that I never had orgasm without rubbing, never with oral stimulation which my hubby do very well.sometime he gets off with that and say I do oral but you never come and go argumentative on it. I am desperate to have orgasm without rubbing , please give my sound advice how I have one. I am married from one and half year and and have 8mnth old baby girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2014

very affective way is maybe if he performed oral sex on you while stimulating your nipple. have him lick his fingers and lightly touch you while oral. from personal experience, My fiance will usualy do oral for me to orgasm and we find that when the man or even yourself, licks his fingers (the savilia will perk up your girls so he can easily touch) and LIGHTLY fondles your nipples that it realy sped up reaching a climax. the oral is lick rubbing but not as rough. and what i call the tripple threat try one hand playing with a nipple, slow oral and then using his fingers will stimualte maaaany nerves and many different feelings. just get into it and feel the passion. good luck !

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2012
It's perfectly normal to need rubbing to orgasm. Yes, some women can orgasm with out it, but that has more to do with anatomy. I read recently, but I don't remeber where, that there was a research study on this and the ability to orgasm without direct stimulation of the clitoris has to do with the distance between the vaginal opening and the clitoris. That distance varies as much in women as the size of men's penises. It also has to do with the size of the clitoris and how thick the covering is. The larger the clit and thinner the covering is, the easier it is for a woman to orgasm with only intercourse. The women who orgasm with just intercourse have the clitoris positioned just right to get stimulation during intercourse. I can orgasm without DH ever putting his hands down there, but my clitoris is rubbed during intercourse by the area above his penis. Our anatomy is just right for there to be contact there. If your anatomy isn't positioned just right for your clit to make contact with his body, you will always need to rub it. That's not something you can change. Also, if you're breastfeeding still, that can inhibit your ability to orgasm. While a woman is breastfeeding, the brain is releasing a hormone called prolactin, which lowers the hormone estrogen. Estrogen is important for sex drive and the ability to orgasm. A symptom of high prolactin levels is low sex drive. A woman's body body will become more responsive after she quits breastfeeding. This hormone prolactin is also why most breastfeeding moms don't have periods. I don't know about not orgasming during oral, except that not everyone likes it, and again, your anatomy may be that your clitoris isn't sensitive enough for just oral. You may need firmer rubbing on your clitoris then a tongue can apply. However, there's an emotional component to it too. If you don't feel completely relaxed or comfortable with oral, it will be more difficult. Many women still have that subconscious belief that sex is naughty and especially oral. OR if you're too focused on trying to orgasm, that in itself can make it difficult because it puts pressure and stress on you which can also make it difficult. Your hubby's putting pressure on you and especially getting argumentive about it is only going to make it more difficult for you. Neither of you should put so much importance on when and how you orgasm. What's important is that you enjoy it and if you can orgasm with rubbing, then that's great! You both should stop worrying about it, especially your hubby.
Avatar for guyfromjersey
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004

It sounds like you need more intense stimulation (rubbing) than what you might get during oral sex.  Every clitoris is different and some clits require more intense stimulation to get to orgasm.  For others, direct stimulation can be too intense.  My suggestion would be to try to get your husband to include rubbing in with oral sex.  The combination might work for you.  If not, you may need to be a bit brazen and include it yourself until he gets the message, unless you bring the subject up more directly.  Try not to damage his ego, but don't be afraid to assert yourself.  It will be much better than not being able to come.

Avatar for guyfromjersey
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2004

In my experience, most women need rubbing to orgasm during sex.  Even with prolonged intercourse (20 minutes or more) there are some women who will never come without help.  If you can't orgasm by intercourse alone either you or your husband will need to finish the job.  There aren't any other choices.  I hate to say that it's pretty simple, but it's pretty simple.