Can you PLS help re: this party/underage drinking situation??!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2012
Can you PLS help re: this party/underage drinking situation??!
27
Wed, 10-03-2012 - 3:52pm

HI- I am not a parent. I'm only 24 but have been a close mentor to a 16 year-old boy in the recent past. It's a complicated situation, but his parents don't talk to me and so I haven't actually spoken to the kid in a while either.

By happenstance, I saw a Facebook event that I clicked on, and it's a drinking party happening very soon. I noticed it's being held by a 19 year-old "friend" of the boy that I'm close to. The people attending it are all older teens, like 19+ AND then I noticed that my 16 year-old also checked off he's attending the party.

Here's the thing: the party description indicates they'll all be drinking and says anyone attending has to pay money towards the alcohol. The 16 year-old said he's attending based on this info, which leads me to believe that he's chipping in and planning to drink. The 19 year-old should know better than to have the 16 year-old at a party, but he simply does not. I know this bc of things that the 16 year-old told me in confidence back when we had contact with each other. It bothered me back then, but I had many talks with the 16 year-old and I thought he had learned his lesson.

But now, he clearly hasn't, and I'm really concerned of what could happen if he goes to this party with all older ppl and ends up drinking. I don't know if his parents know about the previous parties- I hope they would not allow him to go to this one if they knew what was really going to happen. I know it's not my place but I'm really worried. I just don't know how to tell them and actually make them listen to me. Like I said, if I tried to call or something, I fear they would just hang up without listening to me and seeing that I have a real legitimate concern due to an unrelated situation in the past.

Please help me with what to do. I also know that the 19 year-old has been in lots of trouble with the police for underage drinking before he was 19 and for lots of other things. I worry that if the police show up at this party, the 16 year-old will get into trouble, and obviously, his health and safety is my primary concern. Please help!!!! Thank you

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2012

Yes, we decided not to say anything though and hope that he and the parents get a wake-up call after this party. She says that she has a very different parenting style than the 16 y.o, friend's mother, and that she and her husband have tried to discourage the 16 y.o. friend from a lot of activities, as well (as much as they can). She says I should be commended for my concern.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Glad you were able to talk it over with someone that knows you and the boy that she's doing what she can to keep an eye on things. Although as has been mentioned - no matter how diligent a parent is, if a kid wants to make poor choices he's going to find a way. I thought I was a great, involved parent but both my now-adult boys made their share of incredibly stupid choices. I do hope that this young man gets a wake up call sooner rather than later and, as you said, it's without anyone getting hurt.
Pam

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