He took another big step..

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
He took another big step..
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 8:34am

He called up our supervisor (of another group we both work for, not our main job's boss) yesterday and had a long talk with him about me.  He told him that we were really good friends and he'd go as far as to say I was his best friend.  That he tells me things he's never told other people.  There is one particular woman (the one that texted him how pretty she looks) that he thinks will start trouble so he told the supervisor about the things she's saying and said that if he ever hears her say any of it to or in front of other people, he's going to ask her to resign.  The supervisor told him he'd back that up.  Cowboy went on to say that his marriage is over and that if I ever ended up single (I haven't told that supervisor that I'm on the way to divorce), he's going to snatch me up before anyone else can.  I wondered why that supervisor showed up to have small talk with me yesterday and some things he said were odd to me until Cowboy filled me in on what he told him.

Cowboy said he's hoping our main boss will confront him like she confronted me so he can tell her the same thing.  Right now if he called her up, it would be obvious that I'm telling him things and she would be livid.

He's trying desperately to "do right by me" because he doesn't want people talking about how I wrecked his marriage and sullying my reputation or making it less than what it is - a man that fell in love with a woman and had to make her his own.  I am teasing him it's because he doesn't want someone to spraypaint my truck (which he drools over) with "whore" or firebomb it.

He's also trying to get one of his clients to lease their guest house to me in exchange for my cowgirl skills and a small amount of $$.  800 acres and some fantastic horses.  I can dream about that one right?

I have to admit, it's nice to hear him planning for the future with me, setting things up to where they won't bring about as much stress.  That said, I'm being realistic as much as I can.  I have moments where my inner self is squealing with joy and jumping up and down like a little kid at Christmas but for the most part I'm keeping it real.  I DO want that house though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 9:34am

You must all be personally close to your supervisors.  I, as an employer, would have a very different reaction to any one of my married employees coming to me about his/her feelings for another married employee.  I certainly wouldn't tell him that I would support the firing of another employee if she made a negative comment about the situation.

This whole comfortable mixing of work and pleasure - this is both odd and very dangerous for the two of you.  I hope this turns out better than I think it will.  Just be cautious, please.


Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 10:41am

A really HUGE step!!!  I hope that he is really close to that super and can trust him.  Now that someone knows, you both might be watched more or suspected of things.  Just be careful.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 12:26pm

I understand and appreciate the differences in work environments cultures. And, I do much work with the military and certainly understand the issue of life-saving trust.

However, trust is exactly what I'm talking about.  You are married, and so is he.  He basically revealed to his supervisor that he is violating someone's trust, and so are you.  He is revealing terribly personal information, much of which is taboo and what most people kill themselves to hide.  And, they are conspiring to shut down someone who is likely to gossip about it in such a way to take away her livelihood?   Cowboy world or no....he is an employer and he's reacting quite differently than most employers (cowboys, military, etc.) would act.  Now, if there is a close personal relationship between your bosses and you all...well, then, this all makes sense.  If not, it doesn't.  It is out of the norm for any employer's actions who is watching his or her own back at all.  Maybe your employer had a bad day and wasn't thinking clearly.  Don't know. 

In sum....much of this doesn't add up, and I worry for you. 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 2:35pm
Im sure you probably know your business/work better than anyone....but id still be very careful. If things between you and cowboy dont work out this could follow you. I work closely with my AP. Even though im sure everyone essentially knows about us, we are VERY careful. Neither of us ever admit to a thing and wont until we are both divorced and can "officially" date and even then we will keep it all on the down low. AP is really wanting a different job and i hope by that time he has one so our coworkers wont necessarily "see" us dating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 7:55am
How annoying! Like something as simple as a date night is going to fix something that is so broken. I think it is difficult to fathom if you are in a good and loving relationship. One night out with some girlfriends they started really bashing a colleague they "thought" was having an affair. I want to crawl under the table and hide i felt so uncomfortable. Finally i spoke up and went around the table and pointed out specific stories and instances that illustrated how good of partners their husbands were. I told them they had no clue because they werent in a dead relationship where someone cares nothing about them. Im sure that got them all wondering about me. :smileywink: