I am feeling so down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
I am feeling so down.
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 2:29pm

I haven't heard a beep from the guy who I met for coffee last Friday.  I like him. Today is Thursday so if he hasn't made contact yet, he is not interested. What a bumper.

Also I am not happy at work.

The environment is too toxic. My ally is resigning and the brown noser has got this position.

My life is currently at rock bottom...

Is it the weather? I am feeling so blue nowadays. I don't want to come to work.





iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 5:32pm

When your job is making you miserable & becomes a toxic work environment, it's time to start looking.  My old gig became very toxic to the point where I detested coming into work because I knew as soon as I walked into that front door, it was time I go into bitch mode just to survive.  Even when I would come home at the end of the day from work, it came w/me.  I never could leave work at work and I was on-call a lot.  It got to the point where I wasn't sleeping at night and having anxiety attacks.  Eventually I started looking for another job & got hired at the place I'm at now.  It's much better and I wouldn't go back to my previous gig even if they offered me a six figure salary.  Your mental health is too important. 

As far as the guy, have you tried texting him since then?  If you have and still haven't heard back from him, then I'd keep moving forward and not give it a second thought.  It's part of the dating game.  You go on one date to test the waters and sometimes you hear back from them and sometimes you don't. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 5:52pm

I agree with wishful.. she gave some good advice.. Just look around for another job.. The job market is bad but hey you never know ?? As far as the guy I would give it one more try and then yes move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.. just keep looking.

So the weekend is coming up so here is a chance to do something nice for yourself.. Remember self care first.. Take a walk in a nice park, buy an outfit, go window shopping, stop at the zoo or take in the nice plants at the best gardens.. Take a long hot bubble bath.. Draw some pictures and then look at your artwork.. Get a massage.. They must have some cheap ones at the mall (lol)...

Take care of you and then things look much brighter.. Trust me it works..


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 6:57pm

Your post  was spot on. I also go into the bitch or withdrawal mode at work just to survive through the day. I am no longer social or chatty.

I am also getting heartburn and anxiety attacks. It is time to start looking around.

I did texted the guy and he responded just now. He said he has been sick and also been working longer hours.

Is this you in the pic? You are so pretty. I remember reading your posts from years ago.  I really thought you found somebody then you never post again. But nice to have you around :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 7:02pm

The guy is just the straw that broke the camel's back. The weather? Where do you live? Here in So. Cal is nice and sunny. I know when you're not happy, the surrounding doesn't change that. At the same time seasonal affective disorder is a real thing. I even experience a little depression for no particular reason when the weather is gloomy.

What is going on at work?.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 7:09pm
Thanks Free...yes I will enjoy the weekend. Planning to cross over to the US side to do some sight seeing.

Hope you are doing well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 7:18pm


I don't mean to hijack your post, but I can relate to you for sure.......if work is getting to you that badly, it's definitely time to move on.  We spend most of our waking lives at work and it's not good to feel so negative about the whole thing.

I can also relate regarding the guy situation - I've had a lot going on with me over the last year or so (as I've posted!! lol) and I just don't feel ready to date yet.  It's hard to have a few things on the go and then you're on pins and needles checking your phone to see if he called.........someone said don't worry - there are plenty of fish in the sea - I agree.  Unfortunately I'm not ready for all that yet again.  I find too with a lot of guys on OLD, they are not really serious about meeting someone and just haphazardly 'meet up' then may or may not call, for whatever reason........

I have a (relatively) new job but going through some job stress still.......happy with the company but the receptionist is off for a couple of weeks for knee surgery (I'm covering) and it's been a real challenge.  I specifically addressed with her what she wanted me to tell people, but come the day it seems much of upper management were not aware that she was going to be off, which left me in an awkward situation explaining.  Some people too are questioning little things I have to do.....it feels really uphill right now.......thank goodness it's only for a couple of weeks.

Not sure if you're in Canada but at least it's our Thanksgiving week-end this week-end........!!! Hopefully that will help.......

Mel :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 7:35pm
I live in Toronto and right now we are into fall. So the weather has been gloomy. But I used to love this time of the year.

My boss and I used to be close and we used to eat lunch together. Then someone resigned and this new girl was hired. Now my boss is close friends with this new girl and they eat lunch together now. Basically I was discarded. It hurts me to see them so close and I feel excluded. I have to add that my position is more senior and I cannot afford hang out at lunch like they do.

Now I know how it feels to be on the other side of the fence. I used to be boss favourite. So bascially I am getting a taste of my own medicine.

Maybe they called it karma.

The guy and I texted back and forth a bit. He said he has been sick.

I know you guys are so lucky in Calfornia. It is starting to get cold here. This gloomy weather affects a lot of people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 7:49pm

So jealoujs of So. Cal. weather.  I live near Boston & it has been raining all week--it's so hard to get up in the morning.  We're finally supposed to catch a break tomorrow before more rain on the weekend.

I have to join in w/ misslynn and say that my job - actually my boss is making me nuts.  I have been there 15 yrs and I liked it cause he never was that interested in work and just left me alone--now all of sudden he is interested and suddenly knows everything.  I am not paid well enough to deal with that stress--I have started looking for a job but it's hard to find something. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 8:18pm

I have lived many places in the US.  From my experience, if you are happy inside, you can be happy anywhere. If you are not, you will be depressed wherever you find yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2006
Thu, 10-04-2012 - 8:23pm

I don't like sucking up to people. It's not in my nature. I detest it, despise it.  In the classroom environment, at times I was well-liked by the teacher. Not b/c I sucked up to him/her but rather because I showed interest in the subject. In the workplace, I can say I have almost never been anyone's favorite. The best I can do is to be well-liked, again as a result of interest and hard work, not because I go to happy hour with the boss. At times, in the past, the best I could do was not to be singled out as a scapegoat of the group.

A supervisor who shows blantant favortism never wins my respect. We're all human and can't help feeling more drawn to certain people over others. However, a good leader would never show blantant, over the top liking for anyone. I'm pretty smart and can see through all these things. 

Your boss seems like the immature, unsophisticated managing type.