Help! Confused and depressed.
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|Fri, 10-05-2012 - 5:39pm|
Ok. Here goes nothing. I had no idea who to turn to with any of this since most of my friends and family would be incredibly disapproving...
I'm 26 years old, I have been maried for two years to a wonderful man who loves me but over the past year I have found myself less and less attracted to him. There are all of these things about him i never realized before -- like how unattentive he is, how I do all the planning, how much lack of passion and ambition he has... Needless to say I have been pretty unhappy.
SO enter Mr. X. Mr. X is a childhood friend of mine who I have always been close with but was never attracted to, it was always very platonic- but lately we have been spending more time together and the more I saw him the more I SAW him and I honestly cannot believe that we have known eachother 15 years and that I never noticed how incredibly perfect he is for me. I mean we literally share the same interests, the same cultural background- and to top it off he is one of the sweetest men I"ve ever known and incredibly easy on the eyes as well.
For the last two weeks we have been sleeping together and I can't remember the last time I have felt so good, so happy. I am giddy about it almost. Now I'm not sure what to do though- all I can think about is Mr. X. I feel like I have no idea how I even lived my life without him and that I should get a divorce and move on with my life. But then I am terrified that he doesnt feel the same way about me- I have no idea how to talk to him about any of this and I have no idea what to do about my husband. It's pretty clear to me that I don't want to be married anymore but I am also so worried about Mr. X rejecting me and ending up alone.
My feelings for Mr. X are genuine. I can hardly function anymore because all I think about is him. I make up any excuse I can to text or call him, I spend every minute of my free time with him... My heart rate goes up even thinking about him. I am so happy but at the same riddled with anxiety and depression about getting divorced, possibly ending up alone and not getting to be with Mr. X. What should I do? How do I handle this? If Mr. X feels the same way I do I would file for a divorce Monday morning. I want to be with Mr. X the way I wanted to be with husband when I met him six years ago, I want it to be him and I. I have never felt his way about anyone, not even my husband. We have so much in common that it's unreal... HELP!