Sick & whiney

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Sick & whiney
7
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 8:28pm

I'm surprised you even opened this with that title! :smileytongue:

So, my 2 week cold has officially now become a sinus infection & bronchitis.  That would probably explain a lot why I've been feeling blue, too.  At least I'm too spacy to cry, lol.

xAP didn't reach out to me on what would've been my son's birthday.  My own family forgot, so that compounded things.  This week I've hardly heard from him.  Again with the really busy excuse, and I can tell he's not himself.  He hasn't brought up seeing me again, and I'm wondering if he's regretting the 2x we got together and/or the kiss.  Wondering again if there might be someone else.  Wondering how he just seems fine with it all again.

When I saw he'd called yesterday, I didn't call him back.  I've been hurt and sad, feeling helpless, etc.  I'd decided to go NC & see how long it took him to even notice.  But then I felt guilty & called him today.  The last few times we talked, he sounded so disconnected, and it was there again.  He's so unhappy living at the new place, missing his friends, him & SO are fighting more, things at work are a mess, he has a surgical consult this week & may be out of work for a while, etc.  He was sneaking home early because he didn't want to see or talk to anyone.  This is happening a lot lately.  So, on the one hand, I know he's depressed and I don't want to shut him out.  He did say he wants to make it up to me for being a jerk this week.

Then he said he'd thought about coming by to help me around the house, but thought it was a bad idea because he still thinks someone is watching him or me.  So, on the other hand, his saying that just ripped the scab off and I'm upset/ticked off/hurt all over again.  I get he wouldn't want SO to find out that way if there is anything to this stupid anonymous call, but wow... 6 yrs, supposed love of your life - tossed aside just like that.

Anyways, not really looking for advice or anything.  I'm just, like I said, whiney tonight.  I'm actually looking forward to having an excuse to sleep in tomorrow, and I may just stay in pj's all day, watch movies & put a puzzle together!   Thanks for listening! :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2012
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 8:44pm
Create, you're not going to like what about to say, but your xAP is selfish and too consumed in himself, his problems, and the situation he chooses to be in. You need his support right now, given the anniversary of your son, and he should of reached out to you. You gave him 6 YEARS of your life, some common decency and empathy should be extended to you. I know it's hard, but do everything in your power to have a break from him right now, he will be back no doubt create, focus on treating yourself. Buy yourself a beautiful outfit, go to the hairdressers and get your hair styled, get a professional massage or call a friend with a positive or humorous nature. Look after you create. (((hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 9:47pm

I actually like what you have to say quite a bit!  :smileysurprised:

I needed that right now.  Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2012
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 11:33pm
I tend to have an abrasive approach when i discuss some of the posters APs on this board, with some getting upset by that, which is understandable. I'm trying to be a bit more gentle in my responses. I'm glad I could make you feel a little better Create. ((((hugs))))
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 11:42pm

I knew you were going to lose it with me sire! :smileywink:

The paranoia stems from the anonymous call.  He says he's still getting private caller hang ups; not sure if it's related or not since it's his work cell.

I know I'm concentrated.  I've had a lot of losses in my life these last few years, and this loss is making everything fresh.  Six years is a long time to let go of in 6 weeks.  My health problems add to it, too.  Other than my sister, he was really the only one I could count on to be there for me through the ups & downs, who wanted to understand, and who never made me feel like it was a burden.  Unfortunately there's not a lot in my life to look forward to right now.  There will be, I hope, but it's going to take me a while to find my way through this.