Sick & whiney
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|Fri, 10-05-2012 - 8:28pm|
I'm surprised you even opened this with that title!
So, my 2 week cold has officially now become a sinus infection & bronchitis. That would probably explain a lot why I've been feeling blue, too. At least I'm too spacy to cry, lol.
xAP didn't reach out to me on what would've been my son's birthday. My own family forgot, so that compounded things. This week I've hardly heard from him. Again with the really busy excuse, and I can tell he's not himself. He hasn't brought up seeing me again, and I'm wondering if he's regretting the 2x we got together and/or the kiss. Wondering again if there might be someone else. Wondering how he just seems fine with it all again.
When I saw he'd called yesterday, I didn't call him back. I've been hurt and sad, feeling helpless, etc. I'd decided to go NC & see how long it took him to even notice. But then I felt guilty & called him today. The last few times we talked, he sounded so disconnected, and it was there again. He's so unhappy living at the new place, missing his friends, him & SO are fighting more, things at work are a mess, he has a surgical consult this week & may be out of work for a while, etc. He was sneaking home early because he didn't want to see or talk to anyone. This is happening a lot lately. So, on the one hand, I know he's depressed and I don't want to shut him out. He did say he wants to make it up to me for being a jerk this week.
Then he said he'd thought about coming by to help me around the house, but thought it was a bad idea because he still thinks someone is watching him or me. So, on the other hand, his saying that just ripped the scab off and I'm upset/ticked off/hurt all over again. I get he wouldn't want SO to find out that way if there is anything to this stupid anonymous call, but wow... 6 yrs, supposed love of your life - tossed aside just like that.
Anyways, not really looking for advice or anything. I'm just, like I said, whiney tonight. I'm actually looking forward to having an excuse to sleep in tomorrow, and I may just stay in pj's all day, watch movies & put a puzzle together! Thanks for listening!