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Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
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6
Sat, 10-06-2012 - 2:55pm

I have generally disliked SIL - she is smart-alecky and it "seems"  to me she always points out things which are wrong in the house or with the kids etc etc. Six years ago it seemed to me she was criticising me too much and I just yelled at her to mind her own business. We did not speak for 6 months but eventually we were on talking terms.

 

Today she and her family (she is DH's brother's wife) came for lunch and it started out nicely. Then SIL pointed out she had been calling us yesterday and today but got some weird automated message asking to press 1 for voicemail, 2 to hang up etc. I started getting hot and bothered and I should left the room then,  Instead I said, 'how come this happens only to you and nobody else calling us complains?" SIL then launched into a tirade about yes, it was a conspiracy against her and she was the bad guy in all of this.  I could not control myself and shouted,"you always do this and walk into my house and start complaining and make a mountain out of a molehill."  I started hyperventilating and DH said,"you guys stop it" and I left the room. 

 

I don't want to apologize because I want to stand my ground that SIL is pointing out stuff wrong in my life and I genuinely would like not to have any ties with her. But ILs live 6 mos with us and 6 mos with Dh's brother and things get unpleasant if I am surly. What should I do now? Dh says let things cool off and we can start talking after a few months. What do you all say?

(Note: ILs are from India and cultural issues at work here, so the 6-month stay - I have vented enough about this on this board!!)

 

Thanks,

Chimi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
In reply to: chimichanga
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 10:53am
I think you should call her and discuss in the open that you do not like her behaviour. I think waiting for months will not solve anything. She needs to understand what issues you have with the way she approaches you/your family. She can't change that unless she is made aware of that.
Avatar for chimichanga
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2000
In reply to: chimichanga
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 3:51pm
Thank you all. I thought I deleted this message since I wanted to vent here only occasionally and not sound whiny so often.
Chimi
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
In reply to: asiandil
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 7:43pm

Don't worry about whining here. At least its better to do it here than to a husband sometimes. :smileyhappy: You should feel free to vent. Just let us know and we won't try to "solve" things for you. :smileyhappy:

Avatar for ribrit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001
In reply to: chimichanga
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 2:47pm
Hi chimi! Did I ever get you on my Facebook page?