A wise 13yo view on relationships

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
A wise 13yo view on relationships
15
Sat, 10-06-2012 - 6:16pm

post removed due to profanity.   

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sat, 10-06-2012 - 6:37pm

Inelegant, but very true.  Your daughter has a good head on her shoulders--you have taught her to be insightful.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Sat, 10-06-2012 - 8:03pm

Gosh, I love your daughter and I haven't even met her!

I wish "grown-ups" could figure this out as easily as she did!

My roommate is 26 and she told me she and her boyfriend just broke up.  The next words out of her mouth were "I need to find a new boyfriend".  You have no idea how profoundly sad that made me.  I wish your daughter could sit her down and talk to her!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 10-06-2012 - 10:10pm

Ha ha .....Beautifully said lol. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 3:48am

Geo, as a general rule, we Aussies are very uncouth. For better or worse, it's a cultural trait.   

I'd like to take credit for teaching her, but I suspect she has far more natural commonsense in that area than I ever did.  All I can do is talk about my many mistakes and what I've learned and hope she actually listens to me.

Here's to keeping the lines of communication open.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 3:56am

Stillstanding, that's a lovely thing to say.  Thank you.   I can't believe she's 13 and has yet to make me really mad.  Perhaps she's saving it  ;-)

You know, I really relate to your roommate.  Here's another gem (not from my DD) "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else".   Your roommate may enjoy that one ;-)

I've never been single for a substantial amount of time.  In my case, it's worked out OK and I have a fabulous partner of 20 years.   Howver, as a younger person, I always felt a strong element of not being comfortable on my own.   My mother commented that in my teens I was much happier, more content and easier to get along with if I had a boyfriend.   I wonder how that all works..

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-04-2006
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 11:58am
I disagree with that second saying. I don't see what's so God-awful about being single. I think young girls are trained somehow to believe that unless they have a boyfriend they're losers and are worthless. I've been single for over two years and I don't believe I'm a worthless loser! Also, I don't believe in "self-medicating" by having meaningless sex with a man I don't care about. I think that would make my roommate, who is a "nice girl", feel worse, and I know it would make me feel cheap and dirty (and not in the good way!).

I don't see why my roommate can't be single for a while. She told me she and her boyfriend were completely dependent on one another and didn't really have any friends other than each other. I don't think that's healthy because, as we've seen, once the boyfriend was gone she felt like she had nothing. She feels like she needs to find a replacement, any replacement, and I think when people are desperate they make poor relationship choices. I feel sad for her because she feels like she "needs" to have a boyfriend and since she doesn't have one anymore, she feels like something's wrong with her. It breaks my heart.

Fortunately, my son, who is a young 20s, doesn't feel like he needs to have a girlfriend to be a worthwhile person. He and his friends (only 2 of which are a couple) have tons of fun doing all sorts of activities. I'm glad he's enjoying himself instead of going through some kind of drama with a girl because he feels like he has to be in a relationship. I'm glad he's enjoying his 20s because that way he won't look back and feel like he "missed out" because he settled down too young and with the wrong person, just because he "needed" to have a girlfriend to be worth anything.
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 11:08am

Aussie women tend to be more outspoken.  Which is a breath of fresh air.

dragowoman

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 2:21pm
Im glad the reply quoted the original post as it got removed. Is that an automated process that removes posts for profanity? If it is it must not be programmed to look in quoted text.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 4:35pm

No, it's not automated.   I was asked to fix it by the CMs

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 2:38am

Thought about editing it, but it kinda lost the feel.  

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