Says he loves me, but is not "in love" with me - 7 month relationship. Help :(
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|Sat, 10-06-2012 - 10:11pm|
If you want some background on this, I have another thread here:
If you don't want to read that thread, long story short, we were talking about whether or not something might be missing in the relationship, and he told me he sees me as more than a friend, but the feelings are more friend-like rather than a romantic-partner-like - we've been dating for 7 months, and we've been officially bf/gf for 4 months. when he told me that, I told him that we need a break, and we sort of ended things. Today we texted and had a conversation - he told me during our discussion that he loves me, but he's not in love with me. He doesn't know why. He doesn't know if it's too soon to fall in love. At the same time he doesn't want to keep me roped in. But he's also uncertain about whether he's making a big mistake by letting me go.
I told him I definitely sensed something was missing throughout the relationship (like the romance aspect of it). He told me that was because he was over compensating for his doubts and holding back so that he won't lead me on during the entire relationship. But at the same time, every free time we get, we spend it together. There was no question about it - we took it for granted that if we're both not working during the weekends, we spend it together.
Am I doing the right thing? Did I make the decision to end things too soon after just 7 months? 2 months into our relationship, he did break up with me telling me that he saw me as a friend and he was afraid that I was moving too fast - at that point, we had the same scenario as right now, but I decided I should give him more time to see if he grows feelings for me. Should I give him even more time?? I know it's not just about the time, but I'm just so afraid that one day I'll wake up and he'll tell me that he found someone that he was "in love" with. And seeing as in how he's been having doubts since the beginning, isn't there a good chance that I was just a placeholder for him all along till he finds the girl that he thinks is "the one"?? He said he wants to continue dating me though.
I asked him if his ex came back (well it really wans't his ex. It was his fantasy girl - she kept leading him on for a year and a half and then finally started to totally ignore him - he's never been in a relationship with her), he'd want to pursue things with her - he said "perhaps yes. but I've lost hope of that". I definitely do feel very much like a consolation prize right now...