My neice is pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
My neice is pregnant
6
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 11:11am
So this should probably go in the insensitive post but its awkward for both me and my neice. I'm 36 and never had children. I've been actively trying since March and its been emotionally difficult. My neice is 20 and is a good kid. Don't drink but does smoke but don't do drugs. She and her fiance of two years haven't worked until my neice recently started working. They are staying with my sister who is her aunt. Well while my neice was working her fiance was talking to women online. They break up and a week later she found she's pregnant. He is out of house at this time. I go to visit my sister and the subject comes up about my neice being pregnant. I am happy she has decided to keep it and not take her ex back. My sister makes a comment jokingly "you can have (neice)'s baby" haha. I really don't think she meant anything by it but it just bothered me. Not only am I having a difficult time but my neice is going to have a rougher time. I told my neice there are alot supports for her and that I will be there for her. Ughhh my sister.
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 12:33pm
I'm glad you will be their for your niece, it sounds like your aunt has some issues and resentment of her own marriage that she needs to still work through. I hope that you will be just as lucky as your niece very soon.

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 12:31pm
That's a very sad situation all around :smileysad: I feel really bad for your sister, but that shouldn't mean that you don't deserve children as well. It also wasn't fair for your mom to pick sides, she does have one daughter in a lot of pain, but she also has another that will need her support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 1:16am

Im so happy that your there for her! Its wonderful when family is loving and caring! Im glad that your niece is happy and well! Good luck to you both!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 7:47am
Thank you both. It is the aunt that made the comment. She is staying with her because her aunt is helping by getting her a decent job at her work and giving a stable place to stay. The aunt is a single divorced mom with a ten yr old and had already suggested abortion. I love my sister and my neice and no matter the outcome I will always be there for my neice. I could never be bitter towards her. I am sorry you and your sister don't talk. Sometimes thing don't work out the way you plan them but in the end its the right thing. I will talk to my sister in private because I really don't think she filters things well. Hopefully as the pregnancy progresses she watches her comments and can embrace it. Btw my neice went to her first ultrasound and found out she is thirteen weeks and asked if I wanted to see the ultrasound pic. She sent me the pic and she is happy. It is so real now with her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 11:47pm

wow that is insensitive to both of you. I can relate somewhat to that. When i was 20 i was prego with my daughter and my sister who was 35 was having IVF done and had many miscarriages, my mother said to me right in front of her that i should give her my baby because im too young and dont deserve one (mind you i was married for a year already) and for years its all i have been hearing since my sister never had kids (nothing worked for her). My family has constantly said i should never have any more kids and that my poor sister doesnt deserve what fate has given her.  It got to the point that me and my sister do not talk, because she has also been badmouthing me and my parenting for years as well as anyone else in the family that is younger than her and has had kids, its sad. i hope you give your niece the emotional support she will need at the momment because having a baby at any age is hard and rewarding. I would also talk to your sister about the comments in private maybe she didnt think before she spoke. I tried talking sense to my family members but it didnt work. hope it does for you!

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 4:48pm
That was a pretty insensitive comment your sister made, she wasn't thinking before she spoke. Is she pretty freaked out by her daughter's pregnancy?