How to leave ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2012
How to leave ?
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 11:55am

I am stuk up and dont know where to go all alone.I was brought up by an aunt who tortured and abused me badly,in my twenties realised so got married to the first guy i met in my life.He was cheating behind my back but kept me happy and loved me so that i never complain or doubt.When i grew tired of his cheating and caught him one day ,he ran away with that woman who was working with him in the organisation

Half time he stays with me and half time with the other woman .whenever i talk about affair and to stop it ,he says hes tryin his best for last 8 years.he has never gone on holiday even for a day for last 8 years ,just kept me and give enough money to survive .

Is there any hope of this marriage coming back to life?he is in different country and gives only visit visa and not giving permanent one because that woman is working with him now .

Whenever i tell him that why you not giving visa and hiding me from all his people ,only my in laws and his parents side he meets with me .in front of his friends hes not standing with me at all .

he says if he wanted to divorce ,why will he keep giving money to me and give temporary visa to be with him at times .i have been coming to his country but he doesnt stay with me .he has kept me in some hotel and hes staying with that woman .

if i divorce ,where should i go ..?no family ,no relatives,no job but have enough money to survive without job .so am staying in hotel for last three months and waiting for god to help me .

is there any way of breaking his affair? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 9:53pm

I think it's pretty clear that he's not going to end the affair unless the woman decides to end it--the fact that he won't do the paperwork for you to immigrate to his country shows that he doesn't really want you around.  I would think about what to do so you could survive w/o him--are you in his country now?  Is it the US?  If you go back to your home country could you find a job?