iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 6:53pm
As I've mentioned before my Mother is narcissitic and I have finally confronted her and tightened my boundaries. My niece married in Aug in Tahoe and we all took the 3 hour trip. I don't speak to my brother (my nieces father) so I knew it would be awkward but it turned out my siblings and Mother were on their best behavior. My Mother recently moved back to town living in the senior apartment complex down the street. When I established boundaries years ago I informed everyone that they should call ahead to see if they can stop by. I use a walker and I don't answer the doorbell. I have serious back issues and an auto immune disease that causes me fatigue. Today is a bad day so I haven't showered and just trying to get through the day. The doorbells rings....I ignore. It rings again...still ignore. Then my phone rings and its my Mom on her cell phone. I answered and she said..."oh you are home"...I said oh....I didn't know you were coming over. She said she was out and about and thought she would stop by. She knows this crosses the boundaries! She hung up on me.... I have made the decision not to have her or my sister in my house as they're constantly critcizing me or my home. There's a reason why my Mom came uninvited...its a power play but I always feel like I've done something wrong. This will bother me for days....I called and left a message on her phone that she knows she needs to call before coming over and to stop with the passive aggressive crap. I guess I'm just venting but I'm tired of feeling in the wrong. I see a counselor every 2 weeks and he will remind me to stay strong. San
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 10-07-2012 - 7:13pm


Stick to your guns hon.

I am with you on this...:smileywink:...

If you weren't invited please don't just show up, not cool.

Usually I don't answer either.

If I am not expecting you phone first, ONLY one time.

If my answering machine picks up leave a message I will get back to you eventually.

I have RA and sometimes I might be out or just not up to anything including entertaining.

It's not Rocket Science it's good manners I think.

Boundaries mean a lot to me to.