Question about prenatal care - pregnancy after stillborn

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
Question about prenatal care - pregnancy after stillborn
3
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 7:47am

Hi ladies, i am new here. i lost my daughter riley at 34 weeks on 9/26/12.  i also miscarried her twin around 7 weeks due to "vanishing twin syndrome."  we didn't know the sex, so we call that baby "baby erin."  my husband and i are going to ttc as soon as the dr clears us.  we are both emotionally ready to try for our rainbow baby.  i have a question regarding the prenatal care you receive after having a stillborn.  is there increased monitoring? more ultrasounds? right now we don't know what caused the stillbirth, but we wanted to know if they take any extra precautions for mommies of angel babies.

 

thanks.

holly

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007

Hi Holly

Welcome to our group.  I know you will find support here and the safety to talk about whatever you need to.  I am so sorry about the passing of babies Erin and Riley.  It is a pain that no parent should ever feel. 

To answer your question, most doctors will do some increased monitoring in a subsequent pregnancy, but it varies.  Some will do a lot of extra monitors and others will say that without a reason for your previous stillbirth, there isn’t anything they can look for.  That is bunk.  Here is the good news (if there is such a thing in all this): knowledge is power.  You can and should advocate for yourselves and your baby.  Most doctors simply do not have the experience to respond appropriately to a subsequent pregnancy after a stillbirth, while others are amazing.

I got pregnant about 8 weeks after my son Luke was stillborn (it was a surprise and my doctor would have liked me to wait another month but some thing happen as they were meant to and I won’t argue with that since my Andy is here and wonderful).  I was seen every three weeks in my first trimester, every two weeks in my second trimester and weekly after 28 weeks with NSTs starting after 32 weeks and ultrasounds at 6, 12, 20, 24, 32 and 36 weeks.  My doctor did not recommend kick charting but my research indicated otherwise and so I did it and found it immensely helpful.  In my third pregnancy, my doctor took the approach that “well, you had one healthy one so we’ll assume everything will go fine.”  Not cool.  The anxiety is there regardless.  It was a complicated pregnancy anyway so I had extra monitoring regardless but for this reason I will probably switch physicians should I have another child.

I would recommend that either before you get pregnant again, or early on in a pregnancy, you address the following with your doctor:

1)      What kind of increased monitoring will you offer me, at what intervals, during each trimester? 

2)      What will the frequency of appointments be?

3)      When will NSTs begin, and how often?

4)      How will you handle “freak out” calls and anxiety visits?  Will I be offered appointments or to be seen at L&D during these situations?  (they will happen, trust me – and your doc’s reaction will tell you a LOT about what decisions you need to make regarding your care). 

 Please know that subsequent pregnancies are very stressful and people will say lots of unhelpful things but you CAN do it.  Many of us have and while it can really stink to have your blissful view of pregnancy taken away from you, you are strong, you will be strong, and the rewards are certainly worth the effort.

Remembering Riley and Erin with you and wishing you the best.  Feel free to ask anything.  Big hugs. 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2012

Hi I am new here I just found out yesterday that I am 5 weeks pregnant! can't see a doc until november 1st! I lost my first baby at 4 months he was stillborn! I have a lot of worry about this pregnancy but I believe God blessed us with this child and he will watch over me and my angel during these 9 months! Good luck and God bless :smileyhappy: 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Welcome to the group!