Husband Fetishes found his email password and regret it now..

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
Husband Fetishes found his email password and regret it now..
6
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 9:29am

Hi. I am kicking myself for looking at his emails. I'm just nosey and didn't think I would come accross this.

He pays to watch girls getting hypnotized and watches the videos. I also saw some receipts in his email account for himself to get hypnotized. But mostly just watching scenes of girls but he watches the ones that aren't sexual. They are just girls that do stupid things.. Like, bark like a dog on command, meow like a cat on demand and so on.. I also saw some foot fetish stuff too. I've also noticed that some of the times the went on these sites, and paid, was after we had sex! He goes on these sites very often.

I have been with my husband for 5 years and knew nothing of this. I think the worst part is that he doesn't share his fetish with me. He knows that I am a very sexual person and wouldn't deny him anything.

I feel so guilty and wish I never found his password and didn't snoop. But this is killing me. I can't sleep and I am so bothered by this. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to tell him that I snooped.

Is there something wrong with him? I don't know if this is normal. I thought husbands shared this stuff with their wives.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012

Thanks Pleases32! The wierd thing is that I have asked him if there was anything that he would like to try and I've said that I won't laugh and I'll do whatever it is! He knows how open minded I am. That's why I find it strange. It's not getting in the way of our sex life but he has never been a very sexual guy to begin with. If he is paying for these sites, I think that it gets him off and it is sexual. And as far as the foot fetish web sites that he goes on, he never touches my feet. I just think that is wierd and it bothers me. I don't know how to get it out of him. I know I would feel so much better if he just told me about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2012

He probably thinks his fetish is too weird to share. Here is an idea, instead of approaching him, offer up your own fetish (make sure its not too close to what you have discovered about his fetish, to allay any fears from him that you were snooping) next time and when you finish, thank him for participating and ask to reciprocate with any fetishes he has. That should open him up to sharing especially if your fetish is on the same weird scale as his.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

So you opened a personal Pandora's box.  Now the knowledge is eating at you.  Don't expect any answers.  Some knowledge is not going to be shared.  But you have placed yourself in a very bad situation.  Snooping into another's fantasy now you want to discuss?  No one will share fantasy readily as it is a personal part of them that is very private.  It could go bad or not.  No guarantees.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2013
Chalk your snooping up to a mistake and let it go. While some married couples talk about everything, some don't talk about anything. Most marrieds fall somewhere in between. Not everything that goes on in your brain needs to be shared with your spouse. He may just like going to these sites out of curiosity and that's where it ends. There are plenty of sites I go to to look and learn about things that I would never try in a million years. Doesn't mean I love my husband less for it. If you notice a major change in his behavior like not wanting to have sex with you, but rather looking at his sites instead, then you might want to be concerned. I have no idea what/if my husband looks at anything online or not. Even marrieds need some space from time to time to do their own thing. Actually, it's essential as long as it doesn't interfere with the relationship. Don't worry and take care.