Off topic - Introverted people & friendships

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Off topic - Introverted people & friendships
2
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 10:57am
I don't know if I actually am depressed, definitely borderline. But lately, one thing that is a source of feeling sad and depressed is loneliness. I don't just mean in terms of being single. I know I only moved here 3 months ago but it's hard not having any friends yet and even harder to make friends.

I've joined meetups and have gone to things but I find that because I'm an introvert, I have a hard time meeting people at large settings like parties and events like last night's speed dating event. I'm just not comfortable in large groups and I always end up being dominated by others who are way more outgoing than me.

I'm much more comfortable when I'm with a small group of people and it shows. In such a setting, I find it much easier to have conversations with people and I enjoy myself more than large group settings.

It also seems that the same issues of not having a car has followed me down here. While it's much more common for people to not have cars here, I still can't go to places outside of metro accessible areas without people who have cars. It's such a catch-22.

I'm starting to get out more & go to every event that I can on my own and take advantage of carpool setups when offered. I just want to make some friends here soon.
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 12:31pm

My ds and I just moved to a new city so I understand.

It is hard making new friends.

I am single to.

Dealing and trying to cope with Depression to.

I also depend on public transit as I don't have a vehicle.

Yesterday I was invited somewhere but ended up cancelling because I did not want to walk home afterwards alone.

It would have been too far for me and I wasn't too keen walking by myself after dark in unfamiliar area.

She was cool though and understood my dilemma.

I like smaller groups to.

Before I did a lot of things alone and I still do but to a lesser extent.

Usually most days I do get out but find myself sometimes just wanting to stay in.

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 12:56pm

Hey,

making new friends when you move somewhere new can be real hard as so many people already have established friendships.  I am a real introvert IRL and prefer to lock myself away.  I think you have made a great start in joining things and going places. It takes time, doesn't it.

Love

Promise