How can I end this? Is it even possible?
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|Mon, 10-08-2012 - 6:50pm|
I have been with my AP for almost 3 years now. I love him very, very much, genuinely. I think he feels the same. We have been friends for almost 20 years. His wife is actually one of my closest friends. Our families have vacationed together, eaten Xmas dinners together, celebrated many occasions together. All of our friends are mutual and we frequently go out together socially.
I won't bore you with all of the details, but as corny as it sounds, we were really meant for each other, but neither one of us wants to hurt our spouses and children. We have been very careful when getting together and have never gotten close to a "D day". We have such affection for each other, but when with our families or out in a group, we do not show it.
I have wondered if he asked me, if I would consider leaving my family. He has told me that he never would. Because of the fact that it seems we are on different wavelengths, I feel neglected a lot of the time. I am so jealous of the time his wife has with him. I depresses me sometimes, like today. I'm really struggling with it.
I have heard a lot about how men compartmentalize their emotions. I do not have that ability. Sometimes I feel like my heart is breaking in two.
I'm trying to re-connect with my husband. Sometimes I think it's working, sometimes I'm not so sure.
I don't know how I would ever be able to end things. We see each other all of the time. Our lives are intertwined. The idea of "no contact" is not going to work here. I also feel if I were to end our affair, I couldn't be strong enough to stick to it. After all, we do love each other.
Any advice out there??