does my friend want to eff or is she teasing me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
does my friend want to eff or is she teasing me?
9
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 12:01am

ok my friend/coworker and I recently started to hang out and we are getting kinda close. we spend every weekend together and whenever we see each other at work we go to the bathroom and talk (we are on opposite shifts). when we first started texting, things were pretty PG rated and light hearted. Now the texts are extremely flirtatious and sexual. She straight up texted me to eat her out about 3 times. Idk whether she's being serious or not, but she says sexual stuff like this all the time. But, whenI say something sexual back, she acts all uncomfortable, but only sometimes. She recently had a really bad break up with a guy we worked with and ever since then, she hasn't really hung out with anyone or had sex with anyone, so I'm starting to feel like she wants to have sex with me to tide her over. She says she straight but she asked me if I thought she was gay when I first met her, out of the blue. Then last night i went to her house to watch movies and after the movies were over she randomly decided to watch porn o_O....2 of them. And every time any girl on girl stuff would come on she would comment on how she liked or disliked the girls' bodies. Then she asked me if I was hot, and i said yes so she told me to take my pants off....lol at that point I was thinking, yes this chick wants to mess around. I think she wants to eff but she doesn't want to make the first move because was dropping a lot of hints last night but nothing happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2012

Regardless of whether she is wanting you to do things w/ her sexually or not, my first and biggest concern is that she is a co-worker!   That can stir up some bad stuff at work should things go south (and not in a good way!) and backfire in you and her's friendship.  Since her breakup was bad w/ her ex-male partner, you could very well be a "rebound" and she is needing that attention that she desires.

On a fun note.......being a guy, if a friend of mine and I were hanging out and he decided to control the situation and start watching porn, especially guy/guy, that would be a very hard (no pun intended) hint that he wants to mess around, and if I were sexually interested, the clothes would be flying off.

Just be careful about whatever you decide. If you do decide to have sex w/ her, I would ensure some ground rules are established, and that work is work and play is play, and they do NOT cross each other.    Hope this helps!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
thanks for responding and great answer....lol i already have ground rules planned out in my head...like it just being fun and no feelings or jealousy involved....lol and i really don't mind being a rebound, it would be just sex anyway. we never work on the same shift so i'm not too worried about any workplace disruptions.

and i'm glad you also think that the porn thing was a definite hint being dropped. I'm just making sure i'm not reading too deeply into it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2012
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 5:09pm

It was my pleasure.  If you dont mind, keep us (or at least me!) up to date on how things go; good, bad or indifferent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
lol well....we went out for drinks tonight and we were both drunk but she was more so than me and I definitely saw a different side of her lol. lol she spilled soda on her breasts and told me to lick it off lol. with her being drunk I said no. after I said no she said she wanted my tongue on her nipples and i was like o_O lol then she was trying to hold my hand. lol she also said I was so hot and she wanted to grab my ass. also i told her that she would look good if she styled her hair a certain way, and when i saw her tonight that's how her hair was styled...lol so I think I'm getting closer to reaching my goal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2001

Any update?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
lol at this point I don't even want to pursue her anymore because I don't get a kick out of chasing people. Since I last posted, she has done so many things that a person that wants sex would do, but then she retracts and acts like she doesn't want to.When we were in a public place, she waited til I was drunk and she squeezed my ass and wanted me to return the favor and later on that night she whispered to me that she was wet. lol naturally I thought it was go time, but as soon as I sobered up and went to her house, she didn't want to do anything. one day, she was moaning and dry humping me (jokingly) from behind one day and told me to suck her nipples then she exposed her bra to me, but as soon as I started to go for it, she retracted. I went to her house one time, and she wanted me to sleep over in her bed (she said it would be a secret for some reaso lol) and when I said no she started begging me to stay, but as soon as I agreed she backed out again. So I'm pretty much at the point of losing interest because I'm tired playing games. Lol so back to my original question, is she teasing or does she want to eff?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2001
Sat, 11-10-2012 - 10:47pm

Sounds like she is a tease who doesn't know what she wants to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2012
The woman sounds very touchy and iffy to me. I'd be careful and not let your desires doodle on your good judgment. Her on again/off again behavior is not trustworthy, in my opinion. Don't fall for what may be an act. She seems like a drama queen...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2012
i think all of you guys are right. i'm sick of this game she's playing. i also noticed that when we aren't being flirtatious with each other our conversations are pretty dull and boring. and apparently i'm not the first girl she's done this to and i refuse to let anyone treat me that way. i'm just about done with her.