Help, my daughter is fat

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2012
Help, my daughter is fat
11
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 12:48am

Hello, I'm a 42 year old man and I could use some advice on dealing with my daughters weight problem.

My 18 yr old daughter is about 30 lbs overweight and gaining. We don't talk about it. I know that she wants to lose weight because shes spent hundreds of dollars on diet plans, supplements and gym memberships but shes going about it in the wrong way and anytime I try to point her in the right direction, she feels offended and gets mad which is why we don't talk about it.

I've heard the horror stories of parents making their kids feel humiliated and terrible about themselves but is keeping quiet any better?

I don't know what to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2004
Fri, 02-01-2013 - 12:07am

You are her parent. Your job is to love and protect her and let her see that she is a valuable and necessary addition to the universe no matter what she looks like, what kind of personality she has, or how intelligent she is. She, like all of us, will take her beatings from the cold cruel world. If she is trying every which way to lose weight, it’s for the teenage boys out there, not for you because you love her just the way she is, right? I can absolutely guarantee what you need to do: Every time you see her, smile and say “hi sweetie/beautiful/pumpkin/other endearment of your choice”. Every chance you get, give her a hug and a kiss, because she’s awesome, right? If she says anything about her looks, say she looks great the way she is. If you’re ever out together and see someone you know, introduce her proudly. THAT’S IT. Nothing else. Give it a year or two. If you can stick with it, you will end up with a sweet beautiful pumpkin who is awesome and proud.

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