am I being too picky?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
am I being too picky?
9
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 9:08pm

This guy loves to ski.  He says this clearly on his profile and his username has skier in it.  Mostly all his pics are of him skiing or close ups in his jacket.  He owns a house in Vermont somewhere and he's always on vacation - that's what he said.  We were emailing and he said he was going up to Vermont for the weekend.  I thought it was just for the holiday Columbus wkd,  but then he texted me and we were texting while I was at work and next he's going to Boston. So I told him "Oh I thought it was just for the holiday wkd" and he replied he's always on vacation.    I tried skiing and didn't like it.  I was scared and now even more so after I had knee surgery I am scared to do it again.  We won't be a good match if I don't like to ski.  Am I over reacting?  Should I just tell him it's not going to work or just avoid his calls and texts?  We started emailing last week and I just gave him my number Friday before he left.  What good is it if I don;t even like to ski, and even if I did like it, I can't because of my knee.   Should I just say "Next please" ?   Thanks for reading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 10-09-2012 - 9:47pm

He's always on vacation?  Is he a millionaire?  How would that work out when you obviously have to have a job.  I am not a skier either so I really just skip over guys who say they like to ski a lot cause I know we wouldn't be compatible.  My exH did know how to ski & I tried it a couple of times but I didn't like it, plus I'm a klutz--and don't like to be outdoors in the winter.  So if someone wants to do it a couple of times in a winter, that would be fine, but for those guys who want to go all the time, it's not going to work out.  Just send him an email saying that you thought about it and you don't like skiing so if he really ikes to go a lot, it probably wouldn't work out--that way it's not really personally rejecting him.  And I think he would agree.

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 12:42pm
I think its very important for something as major as loving to ski, to match up between the both of you. If you basically don't want to, then I think it just won't work out, so just email him or tell him you think its just not going to work out. It's not being picky at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 7:16pm
khatru1 wrote:
I think its very important for something as major as loving to ski, to match up between the both of you. If you basically don't want to, then I think it just won't work out, so just email him or tell him you think its just not going to work out. It's not being picky at all.

I don't fully agree with this assessment. There are plenty of happy couples who have some separate interests, yet thrive. How much time does the guy in fact spend skiing? If he goes up to Vermont in the summer or even now, there isn't snow there.

With this guy saying he is on permanent vacation, I am suspicious. This is a red flag for me. Most rich people have jobs, even if they don't need the money. Work gives them purpose. Not having purpose to life signals immaturity to me. Alternatively, his being on permanent vacation indicates something else funny is happening.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 1:10am
r_sambora wrote:

I think there's a difference between a permanent vacation and always being on vacation.  To me a perm. vacation sounds like he has no job. He does have a job.  He just takes alot of time off. 

It still sounds like someone irresponsible--not eager to settle down, etc. Not good boyfriend material--- IMO.

As to a man having an interest that you don't share, it's a matter of specifics. How often and when does he engage in the activity? It is normal for members of a couple to have some interests they don't share with each other---sushi, romance novels, the NFL, etc. It's just an issue of whether a couple can work around the differences. For instance, maybe you'd spend time with your mother when he'd ski.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Sat, 10-13-2012 - 1:18pm
I say, meet first before you tell him know. Sometimes opposites attract and if he likes to ski his partner doesn't have to ski too. he can go with his buddies. you are not attached to the hip.

I don't ski either and I don't see it a big problem.