Was I wrong to give green light????

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Was I wrong to give green light????
3
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 7:45am

My bf is a bs as well as all of us.  His dw cheated on him and they got divorced.  He began dating his exgf about a year later.  Looking at pics of them in the past I can tell he really cared for her.  After three years of dating, he found out she was seeing someone else.  He bowed out, and she thanked him for making her decision easy.  Well, of course the new guy didn’t last and she begged my bf back shortly after they broke up.  He told her that he would never date her again but he would remain cordial and if she needed a friend he was there.  She is a hairdresser and he would continue to get his hair cut about every two months. 

Fast forward three years later he began dating me.  He got his hair cut and told her all about me, how happy he was and how I was a good woman.  That night she called him and asked him to go to her house and give her an estimate on re-doing her kitchen (He is a contractor).  When he went over there and she began hinting around about them getting back together and that it was “Now or never” HOW RUDE!!!!!!

He kind of blew her off and left.  She began calling him and left messages asking why he didn’t get back to her.  He called her back and said that he VERY HAPPY with me and that he didn’t think it was appropriate to re-do her kitchen.  He then said he would no longer get his hair cut from her. 

He told me this and I was happy that he was truthful to me.  I told him that I have no problem with him re-doing her kitchen as long as it is platonic and he needs work.  I trust him and because of my ahole xh, I have been working on my trust. 

Now my friend has told me that it was wrong for me to say that to him and I should immediately tell him that HE IS NOT TO GET HIS HAIR CUT FROM HER OR TO WORK FOR HER….

Was I wrong to give him the okay to work for her? (I don’t think he will..)  But I am trying to work on my trust and would like some advice from my fellow bs’s…Thanks and God Bless

Christy

 

               

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 3:51pm
Probably better that way. Even if he isn't interested in her anymore, who wants their bf to regularly be around some woman that you know is pursuing him, especially when your a bs and you don't even want to have to think about the "what ifs" anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2007
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 12:44pm

Thanks Peaceyma. 

I think he told her that because  he didn't feel comfortable around her AND he thought I would object to him working for her.  I'd also would feel better if he wasn't over there, however I don't want to be the witchy gf ordering him who to work with and who not to work with. 

She made a comment to him that she cannot find a steady boyfreind and the guys she is meeting are all losers.  PLEASE!!!! This really irks me...she should of thought of that while she was cheating on him....

At this time I don't think he will work for her.  There really hasn't been any contact since this incident. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 12:10pm
It depends on whether he told her that for HIM because he doesn't feel comfortable around her, or if he did it because he thought YOU would object to him working for her. However, knowing she seems to be coming on to him so strongly, I'd probably feel better if he wasn't over there spending a lot of time with her. If she's bound and determined to get back with him, she may try to wear him down when he's over there working on her house. I can see why your friend is leery of the situation though.