I need help... a lot of help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-1999
I need help... a lot of help...
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 9:54am
I need to rebuild my confidence.... I have none right now. I need to regain my self-esteem.... it is the lowest ever since being a mother. I need to learn skills to remember things so I can follow through. I need to find, have and KEEP a "bottom line". What I stand for can't be changed day to day depending on how pressed I am for time, how I feel (my back pain) or how tired I may be. I need to do these things to set consistent boundaries for my boys- and me- so we all know what to expect.

As pathetic as this may sound, I don't know how to do these things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 10:42am
it's a hard job. Sometimes I think being AP is harder than not. Of course, in the end it's all worth it, but you really have to be in tune to your kids and do things for them and on their time, not your own.

As for a bottom line, that's a tricky one, too. You need to make sure you kids know where that line is, but you also need to be realistic. And that line is different for every parent.

Did anything specific happen to cause your loss of confidence and self esteem?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 4:48pm

Welcome.  Not knowing much about your situation I'll give you a couple things that have helped me.  Being a SAHM I struggled with lack of structure and self esteem.  Fly Lady has some good tips such as getting up and getting dressed with shoes every morning.  This does a lot for your self esteem. 

According to Positive Discipline you must have a few things you cannot budge on.  Write down the three top things that are absolute must be followed rules in your house.  Stick them on the wall and make sure everyone knows them.  All the other things are little things that can be negotiated.