A very happy surprise for me today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
A very happy surprise for me today!
1
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 2:25pm
I've had a rough pregnancy and not much to be excited about so far. Because this was a surprise pregnancy and my 4th child, it's been hard for me to accept how my life is going to change and because of being sick for months and hating being pregnant, it's been hard to even admit to myself that I am actually pregnant. So I try to give myself things to look forward to like the ultrasound to find out the gender. I'm thinking that maybe once I find out I'll be more excited and it will feel more real. So when I made the appointment for my 20 week u/s, I remember thinking that it was really far away and I had it in my head that it was scheduled for way in to my 20th week at the end of October but I looked at my appt reminder today and it's not oct 21st, it's oct 12th! 2 days away! I got it mixed up! So I'm a little excited, my only problem is that dh can't get the day off that quickly and I'll have my 5 year old with me. I'm hoping that I'll be able to find a last minute baby sitter and it will be just me and this baby. I've felt for a long time like I needed to go to this appt by myself to really try to connect to this child. My life has been so crazy between moving homes and schools and jobs and selling everything...I've been so overwhelmed. I've been so busy that I rarely feel this baby even move. It scares me sometimes that it's not even alive! All I can say is that it may not make sense but I wanted to have this ultrasound on my own and now I'm getting my wish. I hope this baby cooperates because I really want to know boy or girl! And then I'm going to give myself some time to come to terms with this pregnancy. Maybe I'll even buy something :smileyhappy: and then when the kids and dh are home, I'll make a nice gender surprise event. Ideas are welcome :smileyhappy: Abbie
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 2:54pm

I almost could have written this myself! I am pg with #4 too. It was a huge surprise and I have been having a hard time. I was so happy with my family and now that is going to change plus dh reacted terribly which hasn't helped at all. I have been sick about 6 weeks longer than I was with my other pregnancies and we still haven't told anybody...not the boys, our parents, friends. That makes it hard because I almost feel like I am hiding a bad secret and I feel very alone. I wanted to wait until the second part of my sequential screening (I am turning 41 in December to top it all off) to tell anyone but I didn't realize it would be this hard. It feels like such a long time but it is next Tuesday! Less than a week now! I didn't find out the gender with two of my other pregnancies and was sorry when I found out with one. I missed the surprise at birth but this time I have to know. I think it will help me connect to this baby that I have felt more sad than happy about.  We also gave away all of our baby stuff so I have to buy everything and I just don't want to buy generic. Anyway, sorry to go on about me but I get everything you are saying. I am also going alone to the sono and I am happy about that. Dh will be home with my youngest and I don't want him there after his reaction and moping about this pregnancy. This is my baby and I need to have some special time with him/her. Good luck on your sono! I hope you feel better knowing more about your little one! I think it will also help when they get big enough so that we can't miss their movements.

I have had many ideas on how to reveal the gender to dh and the boys. If the baby is a girl then I might stop and buy something pink and then let dh open the bag when I get home. Whether I do that or not...or if this baby is another boy then I will write boy or girl on a card and stick it in an envelope. I am thinking about having a scavenger hunt for the boys to tell them about the pregnancy first obviously. Each spot will have something baby...like baby carrots, baby doll, baby corn, baby diaper...and then the last note with say "Look under Momma's shirt" and I'll have a sono pic taped to my belly. Then I can show them the envelope and let them open it and read it. I can't decide if I should make dh wait to hear the gender too. I guess it will depend on the sex. I might be too overwhelmed with the news if it is a girl.

Amy

Mason, Dylan, Logan