Moving forward as a single parent of three busy boys ...
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 10-10-2012 - 5:13pm|
I know it's been awhile since I've been here and with good reason. My husband of 13+ years passed away in May. My life has been turned upside down. The healing hasn't even begun and there has been very little time for me to grieve with three busy boys around the house.
I took a leave of absence from work. My employers were very accommodating to my request and very understanding. We have often felt like family, so it was a big loss for them as well when R. passed away. I am back to work now and have been for about three weeks or so. The busy day to day routine keeps me distracted - which is always good, so I don't find myself falling into any kind of depression.
My heart breaks for my boys. My oldest is 9 and my youngest is almost three. Little Cole will never remember his dad. His memories will soon fade of his daddy. My 2nd son, Christian seems to block everything out, which at the moment is okay, but eventually it will catch up with him. I discussed his emotions with him not long ago and he says he just doesn't want to be sad and cry. My oldest is the most emotional. His weak moments are at bedtime. I will often find him looking at his photo albums of his dad and in tears. I encourage him to cry, it's good for them to miss their dad - let it out.
As for me - all of my days are "okay days" filled with much sadness. Not a day has gone by without tears at some point during the day. It's hard. I miss R. and I miss his touch, his smell and I'm lonely in the evenings. All I can do is think about him when it's quiet time. I've looked into counselling, but haven't had much luck. The timing has been off or I haven't found the right group geared towards losing a spouse at a young age.
I see the All Boys board has joined another board.
Hopefully, I will be able to drop in more frequently. I feel like I just dropped off the face of the earth here. Sorry about that girls. It's nice to see some friendly faces.