I'm at rock bottom

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
I'm at rock bottom
20
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 5:17pm
I regret ever getting into this and can see no way out. Why am I putting myself through it? Why do I stand it? I know the easy answer is block and walk...but I can't do it and I don't know why I can't. I want my happy, easy, content life back again...I don't want someone to tell me, while I'm in tears that they could "beat the @@@@ out of me because it would make them feel better." Why???? Why do I do it?? Why do I still love him even after that??

I'm a complete mess and I don't know what to do. I never thought i'd stand this from anyone, let alone risking my beautiful family for. Sorry, had to let it out before I drive myself mad.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 5:37pm

titchy did he say that to you? you need to get away from him. fast. do you have anyone in real life you can confide in? someone who knows what is going on in your life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 5:51pm

(((JUNE)))  I have been thinking about you so much.  I am so sorry you're hurting this badly.  You are such a kind, compassionate person and his saying that makes me sick.  Are you now or have you been afraid of him?   I wish I knew what to say to help you feel better.   PLEASE put yourself ahead of this man right now... baby steps.   I believe in you, and you know we're here for you. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2011
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 5:51pm

Please run!!!!

Be safe!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2012
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 5:53pm
If you still love him after what he said and how he makes you feel then you're mistaking love for something else entirely. Also you're probably being manipulated.
Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 6:09pm
June ~ don't you take any blame for his behavior!! No matter what you say or do, no man should threaten you or hit you. This is not acceptable. He is not your h or bf, so no tiez. You need to get away from him. Feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk to someone, anyone!!!

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 6:12pm

Hon, you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you do NOT deserve this.  He is taking things way too far, and it's going to keep getting worse.  Is there any kind of a support group near you that you could get to soon?  Anything - for depression, codependency, addiction, abuse.  They are anonymous.  You have to start getting some of this off of your shoulders, and I think it'd be good if you were dealing with someone who had experience with this kind of behavior.  Admitting it is a really big deal - be very proud of yourself for that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 10-10-2012 - 8:12pm

This is really scary stuff--please look for a domestic violence group in your area & call them for help.  No one should be with a guy who says such mean things--and the fact that you didn't run immediately & get turned off by that means you need some help because he's probably manipulated your thinking about yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 2:09am

I'm sorry. :smileysad:  I was talking to a friend about this tonight.  It is so frustrating when logically you know what you need to do, but emotionally your drive is to go the other way. I don't have any answers, but I hope you find a way to get control of this situation soon, since it is making your very unhappy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 8:12am
June, I can't tell you what to do, you already know.

What my dear is going to shake you to the core? I have to ask, don't you feel controlled by him? Where is the woman who lives and breathes inside you?

If you can't fight this alone, please find help. You are a remarkable woman, you deserve so much more then this.
June we both know this isn't making you happy!!!

Jump in, swim up stream, you'rer going to wear yourself out, you're going to hurt, and then you're going to make it, you're going to feel the calm and the peace. Stop fighting for something that is drama, drama, drama and unhappiness.

We're all here for you June!!
~Sunny~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2010
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 8:13am
Hugs....and more hugs!!!
~Sunny~

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