Not a good start to 7th grade

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Not a good start to 7th grade
10
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 12:31pm

I just looked at my son's grades and there are mid-term teacher comments posted.  One teacher who has my son for 3 periods a day said "I wish he would pay better attention so I wouldn't have to clarify things so much"  Well, the problem is he has ADHD,   So, I explained in an email to her that he has ADHD and there is NO CURE.  What frustrates me so much ia that he has an IEP with specific accommodations for his attention issues, yet she doesn't appear like she knows he even has ADHD. 

Also, my son has a one-on-one aide for math and I just found out that, according to my son, she sits on the other side of the room and aside from checking his agenda and the beginning of class, she has no interaction with him at all during the entire period!

I guess it is time to call an IEP meeting.  I am so sick of this stuff!!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 2:06pm

That is outrageous!  I am so sorry that your nephew had to endure this :smileysad:

I have learned that I cannot let anything go, no matter how small, because it just snowballs.  I am sure I have a reputation now, but I really don't care. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 1:43pm

I went with my sister to my nephew's IEP meeting last fall.  He was in middle school and has a pretty extensive IEP, he has CP so there it is mostly mobility issues and some learning disabilities.  Anyway I think this was a good 4-6 weeks into the school year and they were not following the IEP.  He was getting some kind of consequence for being late to classes--and the stupid school had gone from a middle school model where all the classes are in one pod to a junior high model and his classes were literally upstairs for 1, downstairs for the next, upstairs for the third, etc.  

Their excuse was his sped teacher had emergency surgery right at the beginning of the year, the sub was a retired regular ed teacher so basically nobody knew anything.  My sister could not locate her copy of the IEP and guess what the school had her get a copy from the district office because they either didn't know where it was or claimed they couldn't access it, I don't know is the sick teacher has a key to a filing cabinet that no one else can open?  It was all really really ridiculous that no one  in the whole building was doing anything about reviewing IEP's, making sure the regular ed teachers had any information etc.  If they didn't have my nephew's then I would bet they hadn't looked any anyone else's for that teacher's caseload.  In our schools we keep a copy of the iEP in the studen'ts cumulative file in the office.  Even if that is not the case with that district they should have been collecting copies from their district office of all the IEP's that the sick teacher was supposed to be teaching.  I am really really glad my kids go to a different school district, I was really disgusted.  

It was an interesting IEP meeting though because they knew they did screw up--there were about 16 people in the room and 4 more people participating my telephone.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 8:13am
I don't think it's unusual for any kid to feel uncomfortable asking question then add issues to the mix it's hard. I was never a question person and even as an adult or even speaking up. I get them wanting to teach kids to ask and speak up but at the same they need to look into addressing this is kids with other issues. I know my son hates feeling pointed out so if he asks a question it draws attention he might not get something and it's more a peer issue then teacher issue. This was my struggle last year getting the computer and or oral in place of written he didnt want to stand out and I can see that but at the same when his grades suffer and his teacher felt it was his job to ask and he was 8. Now mind u he also has a physical difference that was repeatedly addressed by some classmates (also went unresolved) so why would he bring more attention to himself. There isn't a simple answer or solution but when u have resistant teacher it makes it do hard. I felt like i was just running into brick walls last year. This year he has a special Ed teacher dual teaching so I'm hopeful but I fear middle school so many teachers you can't get all IEP friendly!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 7:49am

Teachers are supposed to be following an IEP from day one.  I do give a little bit of slack at the beginning of the year because teachers have so little planning time before the schoolyear starts.  This teacher has been teaching for at least 8 years and my son is clearly ADHD.  Even though he is medicated, it is still apparent that he has ADHD.  He even has an aide in math, solely because of ADHD/executive function issues in the class.  In addition to ADHD he has Dysgraphia/Dyspraxia and Disorder of Written Expression.  Speaking of Dysgraphia, this same teacher marked him off for "neatness" on an earlier assignment this year, something that is specifically addressed in his IEP, "no penalties for messy work". 

As far as the problems with asking questions, he is very shy, especially with adults.  I don't think it was an issue of asking questions in the classroom setting around others.  Rather, he just has a lot of trouble interacting with adults.  He does have social work services to address this. 

Thanks for sharing your experiences.  At least I know I am not the only one experiencing teachers who don't reading their students IEP's.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 6:54am

That stinks. We had a teacher last year who seemed clueless to the IEP with 1 execption, when in the meeting she seemed 100% aware but then even during parent teacher meetings if we tried to call her out because we didn't feel IEP was being followed it was either well he doesn't ask for the accomidation or well I wll have to check his IEP didn't know he could do that (um you were in the same room with us and granted you have 24 other kids but not all 24 are on IEPs so I'd expect some retention) Is she a newer teacher??? only reason I ask most teacher friends of mine can ID the true ADHD kids diagnosed or not by the first month. YOu have enough experience day in and day you should pick up on things and again I get you have 1 kid to worry about they have more but still you would think with experience would come some understanding somethings can't be helped.

I was a shy kid and I have one; even now as an adult asking questions can be hard, especially if a person seems unapproachable. I don't want my son still dealing with these things as adults but it is hard. Is he just ADHD or are there other issues. Like I said mine is shy but also has some social issues on top of that. Can it maybe addressed in the IEP an alternative if he feels uncomfortble approaching in the class can he follow up maybe one on one??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 1:02pm

I talked to his SPED teacher about the comment.  She co-teaches the language class.  She said that what they meant was that for example one day the class was supposed to be working on a project at their desks and my son was just sitting there because he didn't understand the instructions and didn't ask.  They want him to ask if he needs help.  But that is not what she said in her original written comment.  I am still not happy about this, even with the explanation.  What she originally said and what she is saying now are beasically opposite statements.

Thanks for the advice.  I will check to see if he can come to the meeting.  Although, he has a lot of trouble talking to adults so he probably won't speak up.  I will ask for the aide to be there as well.  Thanks.

 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 11:23am
Something about this doesn't make sense. They want him to stand up more for himself and ask questions, yet the teachers is saying that she doesn't like having to clarify so much? Seems like he must be asking questions at some point or he wouldn't need the clarification.

I wonder how other kids in the class are doing. Ask him who raises their hands the most - he may be the one who is doing the questions for the rest of the class!

Make sure when you have the meeting that the aid is there too so that everyone can help her determine what it is that she is supposed to be doing. Have your son come if he can - if not allowed have him write down his own frustrations and needs before the meeting and take them and read them to the group.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 10:30am

That is so sad that a resource teacher made your daughter cry :smileysad:  They shouldn't be working with students they are not familiar with. 

I did get a response back from both the case mgr. and teacher about that comment.  They both said that I misinterpreted the comment and it was not meant to be negative in any way.  What it was supposed to mean is they would like to see him more engaged in class and to advocate for himself, such as asking questions when he doesn't understand something.  But that is a far cry from the comment which said that they wished he would pay more attention so clarification was not needed later. The two statements seem opposite in my opinion.  The funny thing is, the teacher who wrote it is his literature and language teacher.  But, it seems she has her own difficulties with written communication. 

I do see that in middle school they are wanting to get kids less dependent on services but when a kid can't function without it then they should be providing it. 

Dealing with this stuff year after year is just mentally exhausting!