why are you here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
why are you here?
35
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 1:05pm

So the posts Ive been reading the past several weeks has me really wondering  about why people come here? This is a very diverse board- and it is one of the most consistently active ones on the relationship problems. I'm just curious as to what prompts you to come, read and post here. I lurk for a while, then go for weeks not even looking at it, now I feel compelled to post. My A is nearing an end- maybe that is why? I'm not specifically seeking advise at this point because I have a vision of what my future holds (not necessarily WHO is in it but I know what I want). I think reading everyone's progression is most interesting to me. Some I can relate to others I cannot. But I find it interesting because there is no other place where I can get to view a group of honest experiences in affairs. That is why I come here. You?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2012
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 1:12pm
its an anonymous, confessional, and mainly non judgemental space...i mostly lurk...have to admit that I do enjoy the voyeuristic thrill of other peoples private entanglements..and maybe learn a thing or two along the way....where else can you honestly talk about such a scandalous topic without fear of judgement...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2012
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 1:32pm

To give and receive advice.  Also it's a better coping mechanism than drinking...  

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2012
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 2:44pm
Short answer cause i am crazy. Long answer cause i am crazy and have no one else i rl that would undestand.
Wow @ glenn
Community Leader
Registered: 09-21-2007
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 2:55pm

I am here because I don't have anyone else to talk to.  And it's nice to be able to talk to other people going through a similar situation.

 

Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 2:55pm

To be there someone and to have someone there for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2009
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 3:11pm

When I read your response I felt is was and maybe is kind of unfair as in one broad stroke you have some serious generalizations. This is a place where men and women can come and open up. The complexities that are involved I dont think can easily be boilded to simply faithful/unfaithful.

Your kind of reveling in her loyalty - at what seems to be the expense of other "pain".

 

And I will assume you use the term "unfaithful" as a judgemental notion which is fine I guess if that i s what works for you.

I can tell you the issues here are merely not about faithful vs unfaithful. You cacn do it if YOU wish but its  not valid for the members. I think its about people in love who are separated by choices (whether good or bad) as far as the strengths or lack thereof with regard to their marriages - the women and men here that support each other daily - from what I have seen here and those that I have met are outstanding. 

 

I am sorry that you endured pain in your relationships - just as I am sorry for any member here that endures pain. All I would I would is that there are more suitable markers than lurking here to "revel" in "your" woman's loyalty. I revel so much in knowing that the woman I love uses something personal to me as her password. You can lurk here - if I were in your shoes this is the last place I would be - I would be on boat with my baby.... slowly drifting down a river with our feet dragging in the water - kissing.

 

XO

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2012
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 3:18pm
I would bet glenn is looking for answers to the pain he has suffered. Unfortunately i doubt he'll ever find it here. The new wonderful woman in his life deserves his full attention, not us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 4:21pm

Good post.  I come here now and then to see how everyone is doing. I also don't use it to seek advice much anymore, because I met friends on here and we continue to support one another.....not all are still in A's...we are all friends now...  Beginning in 2008 I was very active on the board, over time I made lasting friendships with a core group of people that continued off board in real world.  Stumbling onto this board via a google search at a time when I needed to know I wasn't alone was priceless. 

Since I joined this board I have two friends from here who are now married to their 'AP's, another engaged to her 'AP', another in a long term relationship with AP  living together with plans to marry....two who ended it with the AP's and are years later loving life and about to marry the love of their life...and a few more who are still in A's.  Just an FYI for y'all :smileyhappy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 4:34pm

if I were in your shoes this is the last place I would be - I would be on boat with my baby.... slowly drifting down a river with our feet dragging in the water - kissing. That we do but when stuck at work, I use what ever resources are available to better appreciate my woman. Also, I have been likewise tempted to engage in both EA's and PA's when my needs were not being met at home but opted to end the relationship before moving on to the next (single and available) SO.

So for me, it is that simple.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2008
Thu, 10-11-2012 - 4:44pm

 

Glenn I am confused.  You posted your Marriage ended because she was unfaithful as did your 2 year realtionship that followed....yet you write that while tempted to engage in both PA's and EA's when your needs were not being met at home you opted to end the R before moving on to the next (single and available)SO....did they cheat or did you move on?

Glenn in Feb 2012 you posted on MAS about a six week EA with your co-worker and kissing....

 Will the real Glenn stand up?

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