Egg donor with a borderline personality disorder
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|Thu, 10-11-2012 - 4:57pm|
Using donor eggs is my only chance to conceive. Where I live there is only one fertility clinic and there is a long waiting list for donors, unless you bring your own. The rules and regulations are quite different from the U.S. You can't choose an egg donor, you just wait until it's your turn in on the waiting list and now the wait is nearly two years. You don't get to meet your donor and get very limited information about her, but most of the donors are "open" in the sense that the child can get the donor's name when they turn 18.
So, I've been on a waiting list for a donor for 20 months now and finally have a donor, after one failed, one backed out and one wanted a closed donation, which I declined. Last night, I found out by coincidence who my donor is, and also that she's diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder and a dependent personality disorder. The clinic had previously told me that she had checked "no" in all their boxes regarding hereditary illness.
I've already started taking meds and I think it's too late for her to donate to someone else, since that person wouldn't be ready in time for the egg retrieval. I think the clinic might charge me if I pull out now, and IVF treatments with egg donations are very expensive. This is my fourth and last subsidized treatment and it will take me more than a year to save up for another one.
It is uncertain how hereditary a borderline personality disorder is, according to what I've read, but it looks like there is a genetic component. It's hard for me to talk to the clinic, since I'm not supposed to know anything about the donor, and not many people know that I'm using a donor. I have no idea what to do, so any input is appreciated. Sorry for how long this is.