About Stalkers and their Mothers ...

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Registered: 03-27-2004
About Stalkers and their Mothers ...
4
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 9:20am

I had an "interesting" phone conversation yesterday.  DD #1 has an ex boyfriend who won't leave her alone.  Now his parents are just as weird or weirder then he is.  According to his mother her son is so smart that he didn't need to study for school, (she told me this while they went out a couple of years ago) however, he's never been on the Honor Roll for school, so he's definately been below 80%.  Anyway, this "boy" (18 yo by now) had been texting DD #1 dozens of times while they were in High School.  She's told him to stop it, not answering it and deleting his number and the texts.  Then late Summer she got a new phone with a new number so the texts stopped.  She's unfriended him on FB Months ago, but he keeps requesting to be her friend (he keeps changing something in his name to set up new profiles) and putting little messages in there saying to contact him - she doesn't reply to him and reports him for harassment.  Any time she sees him (they have the same group of friends) she ignores him, won't talk to him or even acknowledge that he's there.

So yesterday morning he sent a friendship request to my 13 yo DD #2 asking in the little message to tell her sister to text him!  Well, to me that was crossing the line.  Before that it was between the two, but for an 18 yo to contact a 13 yo was too much.  So I phoned his home and spoke to his Mother.  I remained very calm during the conversation and asked her to please tell him to stop contacting DD #1 and #2 and for that matter not to contact anyone in my family.  She couldn't understand what was going on, so I explained that he's been texting DD#1 and she insisted that DD had been talking to him and texting him, well, DD tells me that she hasn't.  I told his Mother that regardless of what goes on between the two, I don't want him contacting my 13 yo.  She tells me that he's working ALL THE TIME and doesn't have time to go on the computer (yeah, right, had to bite my tongue there).  She asked why DD #1 "apparently doesn't want to talk to him" I told her that he's started rumours about them making out while she was going out with another guy.  She tells me that "my son doesn't start rumours.  If that's what he says then it's true."   I tell her that he's told DD #1 that he can say whatever he wants whether it's true or not ...  So make a long story short: she ended the conversation by telling me to stay away from her family, not even go past her house or else she'll call the police and have me charged with harassment.  She'll be telling her son not to contact anyone in my family (told her that's all I'm asking ...) and THEN she says that maybe DD #1 should keep her legs crossed  and that DD #2 obviously is just as bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then she hung up on me.

During the whole conversation I remained calm and actually smiled at the excuses she's making for her son who can do absolutely no wrong (while they went out he threatened her male friends with beatings if they as much as look at her let alone talk to her and he's the one who broke up with her when they went out a second time) and that he works so hard that he doesn't even have time to think about DD #1 ...  He had applied to Military College and obvioulsy didn't get in, cause he's working so hard now instead of being at school.  He was supposed to help out at a building project through the school and showed up on the first day only, because "it's too boring".  Then he went to an adult school (much better school according to his Mother) where he finished High School.  I spoke with DD #1's best friends mother and she said that he wasn't invited to the Graduation Party held at her house, but showed up with a mutual friend instead.

So now all I can hope is that his Mother is mad enough to make him stop contacting us, but honestly I don't think that'll happen.  He'll just wait awhile and then start again :smileysad:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 10-12-2012 - 2:04pm
Woah! I would start documenting each contact he makes. If you ever do have to file a police report, they will want to see documentation of his behavior. Contacting your 13YO is way out of line, though. If he does it again, I would report that to the police. It sounds like this kid has issues and his mother is in denial.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Sat, 10-13-2012 - 8:27am
Jen, I ended up calling the Police yesterday, because she sent me a message via FB telling me that he contact the 13 yo, because he wanted to wish DD #1 a happy birthday (four days later ...). She also said that the Police had been notified, so I figured, they better get both sides of the story. The Officer said that they have to file a report, because under Canadian Law it's a "Domestic Abuse" case and they follow it up regardless if DD wants to or not. He spoke with DD, got her side of the story (including the beating he wanted to dish out to her following boyfriend - he ended up getting the beating instead :smileyhappy:, he gave her some phone numbers to call if the guy ever contacts her again as well as a number if he comes and hits her or something. Then he called the guy and told him not to contact her again or try to contact her via any other people.
I bet his Mother was livid, but then, it was her who apparently had reported it to Police. Turns out she hadn't and when I phoned and told the Officer her name, he laughed and told me that he's had dealings with her before. So I guess she's used to making threats like that.
Well, we've been printing everything and I told both DD's to let me know if anything else happens and for DD #1 to try to remember dates of when what happened and to write it down.

Avatar for layneo
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-1998
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 3:53pm

Well I hope that reporting it to the Police will bring it all to an end Brigitte, what a horrible family!

 

Elaine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2004
Mon, 10-15-2012 - 12:18pm
I know :smileysad: What I keep thinking about is that his older brother has an illness (can't remember the name) where he does involuntary actions (like twitch or something), but I keep thinking that the rest of the family is sicker then he is ... His Dad let him drive on the Highway last year, even though he doesn't have the right licence for it - because way back his Dad went on the Highway when he was learning to drive, so why can't his son. Well, I felt like saying: first off, because they put a law in effect to keep teenagers off the highways speeding over 100 km/h and causing accidents (duh).